"Excuse me" I said as walked away. I felt sick, I felt nauseous. I needed to throw up.
But I couldn't because I also needed to do my job. I had to sit at this pitwall and pretend I was fine.
If my dad was his dad, then he was my brother. He was the brother my mom talked about?
My dad took Nate with him and abandoned me?
And Christian knew all this time? He pretended to be my dad while he knew I still had a dad?
I looked at Christian as he walked passed me with a smile.
Unbelievable.
How long did Nate know this? He literally tried to fuck me. We went on a date together.
I felt sick again.
"Baby?" Lando frowned. "Are you okay? You're acting weird today"
I nodded a smiled at him.
"Alright, that's your fake smile, we are having a talk after quali" he said as he kissed my cheek.
He was the only one who was keeping me sane right now.
I don't know how I walked to the pitwall or how I got through Q1 and Q2. I was working on auto pilot right now.
"River?" GP was looking at me, probably calling my name a few times already. "Uh yeah get them out of the garage" I quickly said.
"They're already out" he pointed out.
Okay, I missed a few minutes of Q3. I must've zoned out.
"Uh.." I couldn't think straight. What were they even asking? They were out and doing fast lap times, they didn't need my input.
"I'll take over" GP nodded as he looked straight passed me, to Christian, who was standing next to me.
They were asking me to step down.
And I was actually happy about that. I got up and walked back in the garage.
"What's wrong?" Christian asked as he was following me. I didn't want to make a scene here, but I needed to ask him.
I turned around to him. "Did you know my dad is still alive?"
His face turned a little pale and he wasn't answering.
Which was an answer by itself. He knew, he knew all this time and never bothered to tell me.
I shook my head. "Unbelievable" I muttered.
"River" he said as he gently grabbed my arm. "I knew he's alive, but I also know that he wanted to abandon you"
"And you let him, you let me grow up in foster homes" I was starting to raise my voice but I quickly stopped.
No matter how much he deserved this, I didn't want every mechanic to know about it.
"I tried to get you out River, but you didn't want that. You didn't want my help"
He was right, I was a brat back then. I was blaming him for something he shouldn't be blamed for.
"I will see you at dinner" I said as I walked away. I walked straight to Lando's drivers room. No one except Lando would come in here and he was the only person I wanted to see right now.
My dad broke my heart way before any guy could.
I sat down on the couch, waiting for Lando to return. I felt bad because I couldn't be there for him, but my mind just wasn't at the right place.
I was just staring ahead of me, for minutes, probably an hour when Lando walked in.
He took one look at me and knew something was wrong.
He kneeled down in front of me and put his hands on my legs. "What's wrong baby?"
As soon as he asked, I broke down and started crying.
I didn't cry very often, I tried to be strong most of the time. But I couldn't be strong anymore.
I just needed Lando right now and he was there, he wrapped his arms around me and sat next to me until I was ready to tell him everything.
