BROKEN BUT HEALING

Korean Boyfriend

As he said the word 'love' the emotions the feelings which I had for him all came crashing in my heart ..... Why do people stab with the same thing which was healing ??. Why do people do that ?. Why did he use that word when he didn't accept it when I was trying to give him anything, ready to sacrifice anything for him ready to bear anything why is he using love just to get my attention now ??. It breaks my heart it breaks my whole nerves system thinking how f*cked up life I have got . How unlucky I'm when it comes to love when it comes to my heart , when it comes to my loved ones.... I was just staring at him thinking was he the same person I fell for ??.. i was soo crazy for ? Why  did I even think about our future together??. Was he the same person? If yes , then why do I feel pity on myself for falling for him ?. Why do I feel pathetic if he was the one I dreamt of ? ...

I got startled when Kevin spoke.

" I'm Kevin her friend...."
Kevin introduced himself to him .

"Hi I'm Ryan , we study in the same college "
he said, greeting each other.

" oh , Nice to meet you "
Kevin said .

"Kevin .... I wanna go from here "
i said grabbing his hand .

"Let's go then Ann "

And we left from there... To the parking lot. He held my hand , opened the car door and made me sit on the passenger's seat hanging my legs out and he handed me the water bottle. Taking it from him I drank and sat there resting my head on the seat .

"You alright now ??"
He asked .
I nodded and smiled a little....

"Won't you ask why I wanted to come out ? Leaving the half movie ??"
I asked .

" No, not until you are comfortable saying it ..... Take your time but I can at least guess that you both aren't on the good side "
i nodded and tried getting down . But he stopped me midway .

" Where to ?"
He asked.

" Driver seat?"
I asked .

" Erm I guess it's time for me to drive ? "
He asked if this is our last destination to go .

"No but we still have two things to do "
I said.

" And what are they ?"
He asked.

" We will have dinner and they have some night walk ?? And then  i guess to home ?"
I explained.

" On your service Mam..."
He said bowing again and signalled me to get inside properly. And I did he closed the door and ran back to the driving seat.

"Finally.... "
He said smiling.

As we were on our way to our dinner. We turned on some songs and it was one of my fav ....
' spring day from BTS' .

God !!  That song literally suits me  the song, which  is about loving someone you're not with while yearning to see them again , it is about the sad event that has happened in the past , but it's also about longing for the one they love . But it's just past we somehow have to leave them no matter what . But what if the past suddenly appears in your present? Should I engulf it ?? Or should I despair it ?. The song is all about life and hope . just the same as mine ..... I don't want to live but I still have hope living my life thinking it might get better some day or the other. I was so in my thoughts that the sudden break made me come out of my depressed overthinking.

" God !!.. Kevin were you going to crash my car ??"
I asked , worried.

"Aniyooooooooooooo, i just wanted to park the car .... But anyways we are here , you know it's My Fav Hotel so let me show you the divine in my style , Trust me you'll love it .... "
He said jumping out of the car .