what are we?

Crush

~ I'm captivated by you, baby like a fireworks show - Taylor swift~

I fucked up big time.
I made out with Elena.
Elena Torres.

The girl I've been in love with since I was a child, but also the girl I'm supposed to hate.
She hates me too, so why did she kiss me?
And why did I kiss her back?

A part of me is happy we kissed, but the orher part of me thinks I'm weak for not being able to control my feelings with her.

But I don't regret it. I don't regret it one bit.
Because that was the best kiss I've ever had in my entire life.
And I kissed plenty of girls before.

I can still feel El's lips on mine, her sofr little moans after i started touching her all over her body.

And there I am again, getting a boner just by thinking of this girl.
God, she's driving me insane.

The worst part is, that she's my best friends little sister.
My best friend's little sister.

Could this get any worse?
First of all, she's my so called enemy.
Second of all, she's my best friends little sister.
Third of all, She talked the worst shit ever about me behind my back when we were younger and then acted like she was the victim.

I never told anyone before what happened between us.

I guess now I'll tell.

When we were younger, like until she was 9 and I 11 (I had to catch up on 2 grades), we were the best of friends. Seriously, nothing could break us apart, until it did.
I was in love with her, of course I was, how could I not be?
But I never told her that.
I was too much of a pussy to admit my feelings for her.
I remember that one time she hugged another boy. I was so angry.
Elena kept asking me what was wrong that day and all I said was „leave me alone." like the annoying ass brat I was.
So after she asked me for the 20th time 'what was wrong' and my answer was still the same, she hugged me and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

Why does that still give me butterflies?
That was seriously the best day ever.

Moving on..
So, one day this boy came up to me, his name was like aaron or something, he said..

Flashbacks to 7 years ago

„Hey Nick, I'm really sorry that Elena said that. She's so mean." Aaron came to me and hugged me.

I furrow my eyebrows. Huh? Elena? Mean? What did she say?

„What do you mean?" I ask, a smile still on my face.

„Oh you don't know? I'm so sorry! Nevermind!" He lets go of me and his face looks a little panicked.

„No! Tell me!" I whine.

„Okay... Well... Are you sure?"

„Yes! I'm sure!" I say impatiently.

„Elena talked about you. badly," He has a sad look on his face and the smile on my face leaves, „she said you're the most annoying person she has ever met and she wishes you two wouldn't be neighbours. She said she hates you very very much. And that you're a motherfucker. She also said 'His brother is so cool, I actually wanted to be friends with his brother, not nick. His sister is really amazing too, unlike him.'"

„W-What...?" I could feel the tears swelling up in my eyes.

„I'm sorry." He whispers.

„D-Did she say a-anything else?" I stutter like an idiot.

„She said a lot."

„I want to hear." I utter. Little did I know, I did not want to hear.

„She said she knows you're in love with her and she thinks it's funny because she kissed almost every guy in school before. Even more than kissing. Making out.
Crazy right?!
She's 9!
Elena said that your mom is an annoying bitch, and that your father deserves to die and go to hell. Just like you deserve it. Those were her words, not mine.
She wants to end your friendship. She only wants to be friends with your brother and your sister."

I sniffle. I can't cry. Not in front of someone else.

„T-thats all?"

„She said a few things more. But I think you shouldn't hear that."

I nod. I really don't wanna hear anything anymore.

„Thank you for telling me." I try to smile.

He smiles softly. „You're welcome."

The moment those words leave his lips, I quickly walk away.

Hundreds of Tears fall from my eyes.
My best friend.
My love.
The girl I love said that about me.

I can't believe this.

Flashback ending

And I didn't believe it.
Instead, I went over to a few more people from school to ask them, and they all agreed.
All of them told me that Elena said that stuff about me.
I was so angry at her.
So fucking angry.

So I went up to her and called her a dumb whore or something. And I never seriously talked with her again after that happened.
I made fun of her everyday.
Told her she was ugly, she was fat, annoying, a whore.

All that kind of stuff.

I know it was childish and immature of me.
I mean, just because of that I hate her so much? Dumb. I know.

But I'm not forgiving her. Not yet.

She never apologized anyway.

I know I like her again.
But I can't.

So I'm just gonna try to avoid her.
I'll just bully her so my stupid crush will fade away.

She's a bitch anyway.
She literally lost her virginity at like 12
And kissed already half of the school when she was 9. Whore.

She's not that pretty anyway.

_______________________________________

Really short chapter guys I know I'm sorry !!😭😭

I just really wanted to update as soon as i could so have this crap.

Don't forget to comment and vote 💓💓

-C