what are we?

i'm fucked up.

~Oh no, i'm falling in love again. - Taylor swift~

3 days have gone by and now it's friday morning.

My life has been so much better ever since my father moved out 2 days ago, but the shit part is, i can't stop thinking about nick.

I can't stop thinking about his stupid smirk, his little smile where only the corner of his lips turn up, his smooth and fluffy hair, his amazing scent, his voice.

Oh fucking hell!
What is wrong with me?
Why am i thinking this way of Nick, Nicholas Rojas?!

I mean i had a crush on him when we were younger and we were still best friends, but when he left me, it went away.

I can't fall for him again, i can't.
First of all, he's my brother's best friend, and as beautiful and hot it is in books, it would never be like that in real life.
Second of all, all girls in school drool over him and he probably fucked with half of them already. Another point why i supposedly don't like him, he's a manwhore.
And Third of all, he hates me.
He hates me more than he hates English, if that's even possible. He makes jokes of me all the time, tells me how ugly i am and how even the oompa loompas in charlie and the chocolate factory are more presentable than me.

I want to hate him, i want to hate him so bad. but god after all, he's still Nicholas Rojas.
He hurt me several times, embarrasses me constantly.
Like one time he put gum in my hair, MY HAIR! In front of everyone in school.
It was so humiliating!
Or when he took a picture of me sleeping and showed it to our class.

I will never forget that.
But most of all, i hate the fact that he left me when i had nobody.

I was 9 when he told me i'm a "fat whore and should go lock myself up and never come outside again." I still don't understand why he said that, and i probably never will.
We were best friends, like seriously best friends.

We used to hang out every day, most of the times with my brother but also very often alone.
Then one day, 16th August 2016, everything changed.
When he looked at me all i saw in his eyes was pure disgust, then he told me i'm a fat whore and left me for popularity.
I also developed an eating disorder mainly because of him. He always called me fat or stuff like that, and i was always the little chubbier girl growing up.

Ever since then we have been so called «enemies»
Of course i still had feelings for him, i just tried to deny it.

And i guess i can't really deny it anymore.
I'm fucked up man.

I groan and get back to doing my lipliner.
I pack my school bag and get downstairs waiting for Layla.

Thankfully Nick hasn't been here since a few days which made it easier to avoid him.

Maybe if i avoid him and distance myself, i'll get rid of those hell of a butterflies in my stomach.

I hear Layla's car honking and i go out but instead of seeing Layla, i see nick.

What? What am i hallucinating about him now? What the hell? This can't be real!

„Are you gonna get in or what?" He speaks up.

Wait- So he is actually real?

I just stand there completely in shock not knowing what to do, where was Layla?!

Nick groans and rolls his eyes „Look on your phone, fatass."

I try to ignore the insult and tell myself it doesn't mean anything and look on my phone.

There was a text from Layla 'Hey babes i can't pick you up today, Eric insists on driving me today. But Nick will pick you up! I know you got a thing for him 😉💓'

No. fucking. way.

I mentally groan and get inside his car, not sharing a glance to him.

„Not gonna say hello?" He asks me still focusing on the road.

„Nope." i answer nonchalantly and lean my head on the window as he sighs.

We arrive at school and i immediately get out of his car searching for Layla.

I'm gonna kill her.

When i finally spot her at my locker with eric's arm around her shoulder and a nervous look on her face.
Probably because of me.

I go up to them and her eyes lock mine and i mouth 'you're so dead layla stone.' and she shakes her head 'i'm sorry!' she mouths back to me.

„The hell are you two mouthing about?" Eric asks look between us.

I sigh and say „Nothing." and open my locker to get my stuff out.

We're on our way to class now and eric is gone now.

„Layla elisabeth stone." I say in a cold voice.

„Listen, i'm sorry, please! I swear eric- he wouldn't let me go and- so i had to drive with him and i've seen the way you have been looking at nick now! You can't tell me there's not anything between you two!" She rambles.

„Well, here to surprise you, there isn't!"

„Come on, Elena. You have feelings for him, we both know that. Just admit it."

I sigh and then groan „Ugh i don't know. I think so?"

And saying that made Layla burst into the widest smile ever.
„Hah, I knew it! I knew it! YOU TWO ARE MEANT FOR EACH OTHER!"

„Hey, calm down calm down okay." I tell her.

I can't help it but smile at her getting so excited over this.

We get into our class sitting next to each other and the rest of the day flies by fastly.

I didn't speak to nick at all today even though he has called me names through the day.

It was like „Fatass, turning emo and not talking to me now, are we?" or „Honestly i'm happy you won't talk to me so i won't have to hear your ugly voice."

then random whispers of "fathead" and "monkeybitch" what kind of insult is that?!

I tried my best to ignore his insults and continued on with my day.

Now i'm in my bed drifting to sleep.

_________________________________

New chapter after like over a week guyss 😭😭
His pov is in the next chapter!!

Cya guys 🤍🤍

-𝒞