my mandu | jensoo

twenty seven

Back to the presence...

Jisoo was lost in her thoughts.

She has been lying on the couch for hours now since Jennie stormed out in anger. Staring at the ceiling, memories of the past flooded her mind. She reflected on how their relationship went terribly wrong and the immense struggle she had to endure to make it right again (she hoped).

Jennie's words brought her back to the not-so-good old time, and Jisoo wasn't sure if she did make it right or not between them. After all, she was the one that fucked up everything. Although they're together and married and live a happy life (or that's what she wants to think of it as), she is also affected by her own past mistakes.

That one mistake scares Jisoo even more than her wife, but Jennie doesn't have to know that. If that night traumatized Jennie, it was worse than the trauma to Jisoo. She's scared of that more than anything, the guilt in her makes it hard to look at her wife's eyes sometimes.

And after Jennie mentioned it again after years of living under the same roof together, Jisoo wasn't sure if she could handle it if things went wrong again. She'd rather get stabbed ten times instead, that's how terrifying that shit is to her. She never ever wants to go through that again, once in a lifetime is enough.

She hoped that was enough punishment for her. Even if she wasn't sure if they really did forgive her or not, she hoped they did. She hoped she paid enough for her sin.

But there is still this unsettled feeling, something uneasy deep within her mind. It made her uncomfortable about the topic as it kept bringing a sense of unease and worry to her, something that she was not brave enough to admit. After all, there's a saying; Once a cheater, always a cheater.

Perhaps, that was also what Jennie had in mind all these years. Perhaps, that's why the cat eyed girl never trusts her again since. And perhaps, Jennie hasn't forgiven her yet (even though she said she did).

But Jisoo was something else. She won't back down no matter what, she already come this far and it shall stay this way. She didn't give up back then, and she succeeded.

She doesn't mind that Jennie could be a little jealous and possessive, although sometimes she can be a bit scary and wrathful... Jisoo never had a problem with it. Never once did she ever complain.

Maybe if she works hard enough, Jennie will regain a little trust in her... right? she just has to work harder and earn it again. She had all the patience in the world and was willing to demonstrate her dedication and commitment.

Jisoo never wanted to ask for forgiveness from her wife because you know... the thing is she wasn't sure if her mistake could be forgiven. Instead, she wanted a second chance, and Jennie gave that to her, plus she even forgave her. Although it didn't seem like she did, she was still grateful.

Do cheaters even deserve a second chance? but Jennie gave it to me, do i even deserve it? What if i fucked up that chance too? nope, that's not going to happen. There is just no way in hell history is going to repeat itself, right? Nah, there is just no way.

Jisoo loves her wife, more and more, more than she ever imagined, and she believes her love is enough to keep this marriage stable forever.

She hopes Jennie feels the same. She hopes Jennie wants the same. She hopes Jennie loves her the same.
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Jisoo was so into her dramatic thought that she didn't even notice the time. She glanced at the clock that was hanging on the wall and widened her eyes.

"Fuck! it's already 9 pm??" she shouted in surprise.

Jennie hadn't come back home yet and it was already late. She quickly got up and grabbed her phone. She tried to call the younger girl but she didn't pick up.