CASSIE'S POV
The memory of our little kiss in the car earlier lingers in my mind, and I find myself in a contemplative state. It stirred something within me, a mix of emotions that I struggle to put into words. I've never kissed a girl before, and yet, there's an undeniable feeling of rightness, a kind of comfort that I can't quite explain.
This unfamiliar sensation leaves me questioning my own understanding of feelings. It's a strange but strangely right kind of experience, like stumbling upon a puzzle piece that fits perfectly but belongs to a puzzle I never knew existed.
I sat on my bed, engrossed in doodling, when the doorbell rang at an unexpected 10 PM. "Who could it be?" I mumbled to myself. After a couple of minutes, my mom called me downstairs. "Cass, someone is at the door for you!" she called, which made me to set my notebook aside and head downstairs.
As I reached the door, a familiar fragrance wafted in, and I found myself puzzled. "Joshua?" I asked, genuinely surprised. "What the fuck?"
There he stood, holding a bouquet of lilies, my favorites, and a box of chocolates. "And what is all this?" I questioned.
"You need to hear me out," he said with a serious tone. "I'm really tired to do all this, Joshua—"
"Everyone deserves a chance to be heard, Cassie. Please?" he interrupted.
I looked at him, sensing the sincerity in his eyes. "Please, Cassie?"
"Hmm," I replied, curious about what he had to say.
"Look, I know I've been a jerk to you throughout our relationship. I know I made our relationship all about me, and I'm truly sorry, Cass. I mean it; I really do. I don't even know what I'd do without you. After that day in the cafe, I felt like a terrible human being and a terrible boyfriend. You're such a wonderful person and an amazing girlfriend. I couldn't ask for anything better than you. You being my girlfriend was magical, and I want it back. I want what we had back, Cass, but this time I'll be the amazing boyfriend. I'll try to be the perfect boyfriend. I want you, Cassie. I really do. I need you, in fact. Please don't throw away what we had like this. Let's work it out. Let's work through it, Cass. I really love you. I really do."
His voice cracked at the end, tears streaming down his cheeks. In that moment, I saw not the mistakes of the past, but the person I once loved deeply. I took the flowers and chocolates from him, placing them near the doorframe. With my sleeve, I wiped away his tears, wrapping my arm around his waist as I hugged him. "It's okay, Josh. I'm right here," I said, planting a gentle kiss on his cheek.
"Cassie, I love you. I really do," he said, tears streaming down his cheeks nonstop.
"Yes, I know, Josh. It's okay; we'll work this out," I reassured him. Yet, deep down, I felt like I was deceiving myself with those words. How could we work it out when I found myself immersed in complete joy and happiness with someone else now? What am I doing? What did I do? In that moment, all I could grasp was the fact that I had messed this up.
"Please don't leave me, Cassie," he pleaded, desperation evident in his voice.
"No one's leaving, baby. It's okay," I said, attempting to comfort him, but with each word, I sensed the weight of my own dishonesty. The internal conflict lingered, and no amount of comforting words could change that reality.
"So, will you be my girlfriend, Cassie?" he asked, with a hopeful smile on lips.
"Yes."
everyone fucks up at one point. right?
↶*ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷ ˊ-
(i kinda hate myself<3)
