CASSIE'S POV
"So, how's this?" he asked, his gaze fixed on the vibrant hues of the sunset painting the sky. The colors blended seamlessly, creating a perfect masterpiece. "Beautiful," I replied with a faint smile, absently playing with strands of my hair. The sunlight caught his golden locks, making them shimmer.
As he lay his head on my lap, a rush of memories flooded my mind, taking me back to that unforgettable night. The night when everything changed, and Hazel became an indelible part of my thoughts. The struggle to erase her from my mind grew more challenging each day. Attempts to reach out to her proved worthless—blocked numbers and unanswered messages on Instagram. Encounters between us were marked by a palpable tension, her gaze piercing through me with what felt hatred. She seemed to want nothing to do with me anymore.
"Are you okay, baby?" Joshua's voice brought me back from my reverie. "Yeah, just lost in thought," I replied, turning my attention back to the sunset. Joshua had planned this picnic date, and despite his effort to engage in conversation, my mind was preoccupied with crafting an apology for Hazel.
The evening unfolded with Joshua's words filling the air, but my mind was on Hazel on the apologies left unsaid and the distance that seemed insurmountable.
We sat in the car, the engine humming softly as he parked outside my house. "So," he began, and I turned to face him, waiting for the next words. "Yeah?" I asked, a hint of confusion in my expression. "Oh, thanks for planning this wonderful picnic date," I said, mustering a smile as I prepared to leave.
But just as I was about to step out, he gently clasped my wrist. "Aren't you forgetting something?" he asked, his eyes holding a certain anticipation. I furrowed my brow, glancing over my shoulder to check if i had forgotten anything "No-" I started to reply, but before I could finish, his lips met mine in a sudden and unexpected kiss.
Honestly, I didn't feel the desire to reciprocate. Instead, the memories flooded my mind—the very spot where Hazel and I had shared a kiss right outside my house. That moment felt unreal, something I had longed for and craved. I wanted that connection again, but it was too late to turn back. The weight of what was lost hung in the air as our lips separated, and I couldn't help but feel a twinge of regret for what might have been.
"I missed this so much," he confessed. I furrowed my brows in confusion. "Huh?" I responded, trying to comprehend his sudden statement. "Are you okay?" he asked, concern etched in his voice. "Yeah, I'm just not feeling well. I think I need some rest," I replied, attempting to brush off the uneasy sensation.
"Okay," he said reluctantly. "I'll see you later then?" he inquired, hope evident in his tone. "Mhm," I replied as I exited the car. "Bye."I added, watching him drive away. As I approached my home, about to knock on the door, a familiar voice called out my name. I turned to see no one but the person that consumed every inch of my mind, her appearance reflecting the disarray of tangled messy hair and the brightness of her eyes in the sunlight,the sun reflected her features beautifully making her look even more unreal.
"Hazel?" I asked in surprise as i walked towards her car. She handed me my personal diary, mentioning, "You forgot this in class today." I looked at the diary and then back up at her "I didn't read anything, I promise," she insisted, her serious expression lingering. "Thank you," I said, smiling brightly and geniunely.A part of me wished she had read it. Every page, every poem, and every song within it spoke of her.
"Yes," she replied flatly. A silence enveloped us until she broke it. "I should go now. Bye," she said, "Bye, drive safe," I replied, hoping for a warmer exchange. However, she didn't smile. As I watched her drive away, regret washed over me. I wished I had asked her why she blocked my number and ignored my messages. But, perhaps, some questions were better left unanswered.
I rested my head on my mom's lap, enjoying the soothing sensation as her fingers ran through my hair. "Ouch," I winced involuntarily. "I'm sorry, but when did you last brush your hair?" she asked with a hint of concern. "Mom," I sighed, closing my eyes.
"What's wrong?" she inquired, her fingers gently brushing against my face. "You got back with Joshua, and you love him—" "Loved," I interjected. "What?" my mom asked, her expression calm yet puzzled. "Yes," I replied, exhaling. "Elaborate," my mom urged, continuing to run her fingers through my hair.
"I don't feel the same anymore, Mom. He's doing everything better than the last time, but I just don't feel the same way," I explained, my gaze shifting to the window near our couch. The moon reflected on the streets, and the stars shone bright. I wondered if she was looking at the sky right now.
"Honey, you've just fallen out of love, and I think you shouldn't force it now. You'll end up hurting him, and guilt will surround you," my mom advised, her words resonating with the guilt that still consumed my mind.
"You will find someone who appreciates your efforts, someone who takes you on pretty little dates without asking, who shows up unexpectedly and surprises you. Someone who sits under the night sky and talks stupidly about random things with you, someone who genuinely cares and loves you."
As I listened to my mom, a vivid picture formed in my mind, and for a fleeting moment, I felt like jumping around and exclaiming, "Mom, I found the one!" However, reality set in, and I simply lay there, humming. "Mom?" I spoke up. "Yes, honey?" she responded.
"I think I'm bisexual."
˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚
(i had a dream about ruby cruz, it was very gay ngl)
