The Closer I Get To You

HONESTY HOURS

The deafening silence was hard for Anntonia to take. They were the only people inside the washroom, and the thing that they could hear was each other's breathing.

Michelle was still processing what had caused her friend's outburst, why suddenly Anntonia was being distant, and now she could tell that the other woman was angry at her.

They were okay as far as she can remember. She even walked Ann to her hotel suite last night. They even had the best time right after the event. So, she can't understand why the sudden fit of temper?

This is not the right place for them to talk. Because for one, anyone could come in and interrupt them, or worse case scenario someone would hear this conversation and they will be the talk of the town. But she was curious to know.

Anntonia could feel the sets of brown eyes boring into her, racking her brain on how to explain her outburst because, honestly, she didn't have the right to be jealous.

She heaved a deep sigh. There. Finally acknowledging the feeling at the pit of her stomach. The very reason she left the table and went to get a breather.

It's irrational, childish, and she's sure as hell that she's overreacting, but what can she do now? There's no point in taking her words back.

This time, though, the jealousy she felt was replaced by sadness and fear. They were just starting. Their friendship and connection isn't that deep, or is it? She didn't expect that she'd be this close. To be this attached to someone she just met.

"Can we talk about this somewhere?"

Michelle's soft-spoken voice finally took her out of her trance. She turned to look at her and all she could see was the confusion and maybe a bit of sadness on her face.

The other beauty queen was not even mad at her and that only made her feel more like a jerk.

"I- I'm sorry."

Michelle knew it was a heat of the moment thing. So she understood, being here was stressful enough. Being away from their loved ones in this unfamiliar place.

"I won't be forcing you to tell me what's going on. But I just want to know if I did something wrong? Or if I say something that made you want to avoid me? Because I want to make it right, but I think this is not the place to talk about it. So let's talk later, okay? Only if you want to. I'm all ears."

Michelle smiled at her, but this time it didn't meet her eyes. She waited a few more seconds if Anntonia would say anything, but there was only silence and then she's gone.

See. How can she not get attached to her? How can she not admire her? She's handling this coolly and her being so understanding frustrated Anntonia more. She wanted to call out her name and stop her from walking away, but Michelle is right. Now is not the time.

It's great that Michelle was giving her some space, she'll use it to collect her thoughts. To process what she really feels. And maybe she'll be more open to talk about it.

—

Michelle, however, was worried about her. When she left Ann inside the washroom, it took a lot from her to not reach out and hold her close and give her a comforting embrace.

But she had to stop herself from doing it. She likes her. She's accepted and admitted it to herself. There's no point in pretending, but as much as she feels strongly for Anntonia, Michelle wouldn't cross that boundary between them.

Not when Anntonia is very much in love with someone and‌ it's with a man. Not when she knows it would ruin their friendship. Definitely not when she knows the moment she admits how she feels. She'll lose Anntonia completely.