Psychological session of Dr. John Sampson with Alexis Stepman for PTSD:
2:58 p.m.
"...It hurt. I was cold. I was frozen as ice, even though it was warm. My mouth froze, and my eyes froze. The feeling completely disappeared from them. My hands were shaking, but they didn't move. I was shaking inside. I lay motionless. I was paralyzed. I was coughing up blood, and more was coming from my chest where the bullet had gone through. I was lying in a pool of blood. She was there so much...," my voice trembled.
3:03 p.m.
"How are you feeling?" he asked.
"From that day... from that moment, I have to look back. I fear every open space, every roof from which someone could shoot me again, every sound that resembles a gunshot. What scares me the most is knowing that I won't see a gun from which someone will shoot me," nervously scared. "I was afraid... I'm still afraid. I'm afraid for my life. I can't stop worrying. I wouldn't say I like that. Those feelings, memories. Fear. Just like before, it opens up old wounds, even healed ones. Or so I thought that they were. The more I think about it, the worse it gets. I can't control myself. I can't think. I'm shaking just thinking about it all. I'm on the verge of a breakdown. I don't feel safe. I don't even sleep anymore. I don't eat...," hysterically.
3:12 p.m.
"What are you feeling right now? What do you want
"I feel anger... malice. I want to put a gun to the person's head and pull the trigger."
He just looked at me.
"I know I'm acting irrationally and under the influence of emotion."
"It's good that you are aware of your behavior..."
I interrupted him. "Yeah... but..."
YOU ARE READING
My Life with Death
Mystery / ThrillerFor all my life, I was always working with death. Previously, I negotiated justice for creatures that died out millions of years ago and afterward also for humans - victims of brutal crimes nowadays. But one human I couldn't help. And the person was...
