My Life with Death

Clean Wings Warehouse, Marbury, Washington, D.C.

10:37 a.m.

"You're a little girl trapped in this world, scared to death."

- You know who

10:40 a.m.

"It's your inner struggle. A fight that will never end.'

- You know who

10:48 a.m.

"You are like honey. You are like bee venom. You are dancing, making love, and drinking alcohol. Madness? No. This is your life, girl: no more crying, heartbreak, or hiding. I want to see everything with my own eyes. I want to see you suffer..."

- You know who

10:52 a.m.

"Do you love me? I know it. Answer for yourself: how can one fall in love with a murderer?"

- You know who

10:53 a.m.

"And the answer is... you're not normal, girl. You are just like me. You're obsessed with me, just like I'm obsessed with you. It's in us.

- You know who

10:54 a.m.

"Admit that sex with me was the best thing you've ever experienced in your life... We both know it. You're just afraid to admit it."

- You know who

10:55 a.m.

"How does it feel to know you slept with a murderer? Or you still don't believe us..."

- You know who

10:58 a.m.

"I'm him!"

- You know who

11:00 a.m.

"Girl, you can change so much... You can go to Hollywood or Vegas, pole dance, and fuck a different guy every night. But you never stop being crazy. You won't stop being crazy..."

- You know who

January 28, 2019, 11:03 a.m.

I imagine myself sitting at a set table. I'm sitting there with my family and friends. We are all healthy. Our thoughts are full of purity, smiles, and peace of mind. Nothing bothers us. But that's just an idea—another of the many ideas that try to confuse me. Right now, I'm wandering the night. I walk through the darkness, looking for a light to show me the way. The light of your eyes, something like a spark, is gone. I feel darkness and nothing more than darkness and cold.