New kid - kris guštin

9.

Emma's POV

I had just finished getting myself ready to go to school. I was feeling quite lightheaded and a bit nauseous but that's most likely because I've been struggling extra with food these past days. I've been eating a bit more than usual which made me feel very guilty so I had been throwing up a lot and then not eaten much after. But that wouldn't stop me cause I still need to go to school to not worry my dad.

I got out of my room where I was met by my dad. He was ready to get me to school so we walked out to his car.

- hey you look a bit pale, are you okey?
- yea I'm fine just a bit tired that's all.
- are you sure? If you don't feel good you can just stay home. It's no big deal.
- I'll be fine don't worry.

But when I got into the school I regretted I didn't agree on staying home. I saw papers with my face all over the school. And it was not just any picture, it was the one from last week when they had lured me into that classroom. I got flashbacks from that day and I felt my vision getting blurry. But I was pulled out from my head by two people grabbing one arm each. I looked at the two people and saw bojan and Jan on one side each.

- what are you doing? Let go off me.
- no we will give you a little round tour come on.

I could her bojan laugh at Jan's response while they kept walking. I tried to get out of their grip but it just got tighter. I started feeling how my arms started getting cold and starting to loose feeling. They finally let go off me and I ran out of the building as fast as I could with tears running down my cheeks.

I didn't know where to go. I just know I didn't wanna be here, ever. I was so tired of this shit. All of it. Is it even worth continuing? I have lost my mom, I don't really have any friends I have Linda but we don't really know each other that much, and everyone in school hates me. It just feels pointless to keep fighting.

☆

I had just gotten back home and I sat down at the kitchen table and got a paper and a pen and started writing a letter for my dad.

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Hey dad, I wish I wouldn't have to write you this letter but I just can't do this anymore. I've been lying to you about everything being fine cause nothing is fine. Ever since the first day of school I've been bullied. I have no friends, I don't have a mum and life doesn't have a purpose. I'm hopefully already gone by the time you read this. I'm so sorry that I'm doing this but I have to. I love you.

Your Emma
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I folded the letter and put on top of the kitchen counter. I then went to my room to grab my diary before leaving home.

☆

I'm now back at the spot where I had went when I had had a hard time last. I sat on the edge of the cliff and pulled out my diary. I started writing a goodbye letter for myself. Like an ending for my diary if that makes sense.

I had written almost 2 full pages before I was satisfied with everything I had written down. It was my only last final vent before I would finally be able to feel som peace in my life for once.

I stood up and stood right at the edge looking down. It was really far and I started feeling myself getting a bit dizzy. But I couldn't back down now, I have to do it. I closed my eyes and took a last deep breath. But right as I was about to jump I was roughly pulled backwards, falling down onto someone.

I didn't dare to move and just stayed there and then I heard the person underneath me started talking.

- damn it Emma, what the actual fuck are you doing? Were you just about to kill yourself huh?

I recognized that voice a bit too well. Funny how he is the one stopping me from jumping when he is a part of the reason I decided it would be worth it.

- what are you doing here kris? Why would you do that, let go of me.

- so you can try again? Yeah no I don't think so. Come on get up.

I stood up and so did he. He was just looking at me with a very serious face. He then spotted something in the ground and went over to pick it up. It was my diary and when I saw him starting to open it I panicked and tried ripping it out of his hands. But he was faster and held it up in the air where I couldn't reach.

- okey so hear me out now, I'll take you to my place where you will calm down and if you want to talk about this we can do that but I at least wanna explain some stuff to you, and then I'll take you back to your dads place okey?

- no I don't want to do that, so just leave me alone please.

- well it wasn't an option, you will be coming with me whether you like it or not.

He grabbed my hand tightly and we started walking together. I hated every second of it but it's not like I can do anything about it, I'm too weak for that at the moment.