New kid - kris guštin

11.

Emma's POV

Even tho Kris just explained to me that he regretted all of this and apologized I honestly didn't care. He may be sorry but that won't take away the pain. But I really hope he meant what he said about him staying away from me and that he would make sure that the other guys would as well.

- when does you dad get home? I know you don't wanna stay here so when your dad gets home I'll walk you back home to make sure you don't try to do anything stupid again.

- in one hour.

I couldn't wait for time to pass so I would finally be able to get back home. But I need to come home before my dad so I can hide the letter I had left on the counter, cause since I'm still here there's no need that my dad would know what had actually been going on.

☆

I had finally been able to convince Kris that we would leave a few minutes earlier so we were now on our way to my place. And I'm praying so hard my dad hasn't gotten off his work early so he would have seen the letter. I don't know what I should do then. My dad would never let me be alone for a second and that would drive me insane. I love my dad for sure but it's nice to be able to just be alone for a little while as well.

We had gotten to my house and my dad's care was not here so that was a very good sign. I unlocked the door and immediately went into the kitchen and I saw the letter still laying in the same spot I had left it on. I felt a wave of relief washing over me and I grabbed the letter and put it in my pocket.

- what's that?

- nothing.

- it's not nothing, give it to me please.

- no, why would I do that, I don't owe you anything.

- no you don't, but I don't trust that you're actually doing okey and that this at school was all that was going on.

- it's nothing in there you don't already know, so just drop it.

- fine but I'm not leaving until your dad gets back at least.

It was not worth it to keep fighting to make him leave so I just let it be like it was. But I did not wanna be with him so I told him I would be in my room and he can stay in the living room. Which he seemed to be okey with but he did say he would come and check on me from time to time just to make sure I didn't do anything.

☆

I heard the front door open and then my dad coming in. I heard him talking to Kris and asked him why he was here and why I wasn't with him. I was really scared that he would tell on me but he luckily didn't. He just told him that we had been hanging out but I had to go to the toilet, but he was gonna leave now. Which my dad seemed to believe.

I heard that someone left and I could finally relax. Kris had left, he didn't tell my dad and I wouldn't have to ever talk with him ever again. I still have a lot of stuff going on in my head but him leaving solves one of the problems.

My dad got into my room just to see if I was alright and asked what I had done today cause he had gotten a message from school saying I hadn't been there. Shit, how do I explain this without saying something was wrong. But u told him I had hanged out with kris and he was a little disappointed but gladly not mad at me for it.

☆

It was quite late now and my dad had already went to bed. But I still had to much spinning in my head to be able to go to bed and just relax.

I sat down on my bed with my diary and a pen and started to write down everything that was in my head. I looked back at the pages I had written earlier today and I felt how the tears started to make their way to my eyes.

I was know thankful for kris instead. That's something I never thought I would ever think. But after I had read these pages I was very thankful that he had stopped me right before I did something really bad. If he wasn't there at that exact moment, I would no longer be existing. Even if I in that moment thought that was what I wanted and I was really mad that kris had done what he did, I know thought completely opposite of that. I'm not done with my life. I have a lot to keep fighting for. I know it will be hard but I need to do it, for my mom.