Dark Love - Chanlix

9) I Love You

"Felix. What's the real reason you came over?" Chan suddenly asked, and Felix's smile dropped.

"What do you mean? I came to see you since I haven't seen you in a while." Felix said confidently. He didn't want Chan to know how worried he was about him.

Chan was asking because it didn't seem like Felix came over for a quick talk. It seemed like he was worried about him and needed to see him. Yeah, Chan might've just figured out Jisung's words from that day.

He doesn't want to be your brother.

He remembered the way Jisung said it and then stormed out his studio. Chan couldn't stop but think about what that could possibly mean. So this past month, it wasn't only his past keeping him busy but also the thoughts of Felix.

"What do you want me to say exactly? I came because everyone is worried about you since you haven't shown up anywhere for a month. Not the club or even work, but you're the best your company has, so they can't fire you. Yeah, Changbin and Jisung told me everything." Felix said with a pointed look and crossed his arms.

"I literally just told you the reason I've been home this entire time. But I don't understand why it was you that came to check on me. The last time we saw each other, you made it abundantly clear you didn't want to be near me." Chan said, and Felix also remembered a month ago.

The last time he saw Chan was at the club. After Chan brozoned him, he went outside, and Hyunjin and Jisung came to check on him. Then they went back into the bar. He saw Chan, couldn't take the pain in his heart, and left without a word. Of course, that would hurt Chan.

"Where is this all coming from? We were fine a few hours ago." Felix asked, not understanding Chan's suddenly outburst.

"Why are you here, Felix?" Chan just said, and Felix rolled his eyes.

"Who would you have rather come?" Felix asked.

"I don't know, Hyunjin." Chan answered, and hearing his name in Chan's mouth again hurt. He knew Hyunjin was faithful to Changbin, but that didn't mean he got over them sleeping together.

"I'm sorry for caring about you, you piece of shit." Felix said calmly, getting his phone from the kitchen and leaving to the door, Chan didn't say a word, and Felix left.

The second Felix shut the door, the waterworks started. Tears were coming down his face as he ran to his car and got in. The tears wouldn't stop, and Felix felt infuriated as he slammed hands on the steering wheel. 

"Why did I ever have to love you?" Felix whispered to himself, hating himself for ever going down that road.

Chan, on the other hand, felt horrible for what he did. He got scared. While he was asleep, he had a dream of him and Felix waking up in bed together as the sun shone down on them, both awaking them. He woke up before that dream went any further.

A little pathetic, but the dream scared Chan of the very thing he told Felix he would never do, commitment. He had a feeling he knew what Jisung's words meant that day, but he was scared of that outcome. Felix was his best friend. He didn't want to lose him.

So what did he do instead? He lashed out on Felix to make Felix realise he's bad and an asshole. Maybe Felix will stay away. He's broken, and he didn't need to taint Felix's innocence with his darkness.

Chan walked to the kitchen and saw a tray of lasagna that was still cooling down. Felix was so sweet like that. He would put others before himself and care for others so much, even if they didn't deserve it.

He sat down on the sofa again and got his phone, seeing many, many messages from his fellow band members. There was one message that stood out to him the most, though.