Feelings Aligned [Englot]

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Engfa POV

I close myself off completely to the world around me. After the night Charlotte left at dinner, after I failed to hold her back and keep her in my life for my own selfish reasons, I have finally felt like I hit rock bottom. Why does this keep happening? Why am I such a terrible person? Why am I so terrible with love? 

Everything always circles back to being my fault and I can't seem to end this vicious cycle of giving Charlotte false hope. But still to this day, I haven't stopped loving her. Why can't I just have held onto her that night, putting away my worries and guilt to tell her I loved her too after all the chances she has given me to be honest with her. 

Other than work, I practically shut myself from the outside world. I stopped using social media and even barely touching my phone unless I had to for work. My sister and mom start to worry about me too, waiting for me day and night as I was never home. But when I see my mom sick and visiting the hospital more often, her health reminds me why I let Charlotte go, I had to. 

Finally one day as I was on call with a client I notice my phone vibrating non-stop. To my surprise it was Marima and Heidi. I wasn't planning on replying since it wouldn't have done me any good until....

{ 1:42 pm}

Marima > Heyy Engfa, how are you doing? 

Heidi > Sorry for suddenly reaching out to you like this, but we just want to talk 

Heidi > Nick has filled us in and we have spoken to Charlotte too 

Marima > We know you told Charlotte you were moved on and you didn't have feelings for her anymore but we just wanted to confirm with you ONE FINAL time. And we promise you we won't bother you again. 

Heidi > She's leaving, Engfa....

Heidi > (sends Charlotte's instagram story of her waiting at the gate to board her flight)

Where is she going?  < Engfa

Heidi > She's going back to London today 

Marima > If you love her, you have to go to her 

{ 2:03 pm}

Heidi > Engfa... 

Heidi> She's going to live with her dad and not coming back this time

Marima > You still have time to hold her back 

Someone call her < Engfa

Heidi > Are you on your way???

Marima >  Her  phone went straight to voicemail 

Marima > ENGFA, ARE YOU going to the airport???

I'm leaving my office right now < Engfa 

As the two of them frantically try to get a hold of Charlotte, I ran straight out of the office startling my colleagues. Without even thinking of consequences and informing my work that I will be missing the afternoon meetings, I felt like I was being dragged to the airport. My feelings for Charlotte was so strong, that the doubts and uncertainties I have been sinking myself into suddenly seemed to have vanished. My heart was now leading the way as my body struggles to follow.