I've had to punish her for that. No, that was too close a call and something could have happened. Ryuuko doesn't know any better and so she kept acting up. I wanted to strike her, but I knew that would have turned me into a monster. Ragyou would strike us for the smallest of infractions and Ryuuko's still a little girl. Still, I have to punish her for that. That was dangerous and she doesn't know how dangerous it was. I am only trying to keep her safe.
I took to locking her in a room most days after that. I told Mrs. Mankanshoku this and that, while it's hard to understand, Ryuuko has to learn. Being locked away is the only way she'd learn. I'd let her out, eventually, but not before she really learned. It hurt to see Ryuuko so distraught but I told her, "I told you not to disobey me again, what did you suppose would happen?" Everything I do is for my sisters' own good and, if they are to survive in this world, they have to behave.
Within, I was more conflicted. She needed to be punished for that but I felt so sick. I was being cruel. Not as cruel as Ragyo would have been but I was being cruel nonetheless. It stung more when she wouldn't even look at me. "Darling, I'm only doing what's best for you." I told her, but she wasn't having it, though, she wasn't so outspoken about it.
At a later point, I would reiterate my point but I'd find my heart breaking again, when Ryuuko told me, "I wish I ain't have to deal with you anymore, Sats." No, I don't think I held back my tears. I would have yelled at her but, instead, I told her, "Someday, you won't have to put up with me anymore because you won't have me anymore. Perhaps, you'll be happy."
I didn't talk to her after that. When I did talk to her, it was only out of necessity. I do all that I do out of love for my sisters. I could only wish that Ryuuko understood that. At least, I supposed, Nui understood, then again, she's the youngest and so doesn't know any different. On her last day of punishment, I told her, "Everything I do for you is for your own good, out of love, dearest."
After that, I opted to make myself scarce for long periods. Eventually, it seemed, I withdrew from my sisters almost completely.
