Music Playing: Reminiscence by Johannes Bornlof
"Nui, we—I—have something to tell you." Sissie told me.
It was like an intervention, and it wasn't just Sissie. No, Ryuuko was there and so were Mako, Nonon, and Mama. Sissie looked like she wanted to cry but she reiterated her point about something I needed to know. I should have known it was about our old life, before we found Mama and, as Sissie confirmed, it was.
She asked me about what I remembered about that night. I told her that I don't really remember too much besides the house being on fire when we left but I told her that Ryuuko remembered more. All I knew is that we were never allowed to talk about that night. "Sissie, you told us we were to never talk about that night." I told her, and she agreed.
"Yes, but that was years ago and we can talk about it now."
"Why? What's going on?"
"I need you to know the truth, Nui."
"The truth?"
"Yes, the house burned down but what you don't know is that I set the fire."
"What?!"
"Yes, and you also don't know that I pulled the trigger."
She told me that enough time has passed and that we could talk about that night. She told me that Ragyo called her downstairs to beat on her worse and that she grabbed the gun. "It wasn't matter of getting the gun, but it was a matter of who got first. I got to it first and I didn't want to find out if Ragyo would have gone that far." she said, holding my hand tighter than before. I wished she didn't tell me that or anything to do with that night. "Sissie, I could have gone without knowing any of that."
"I know, dear, but you deserved to know about what happened that night."
"Why did you do that, Sissie?"
"I didn't want to shoot her but I did want her to stop hurting us. I don't think I had much of a choice, Nui."
"And the fire?"
"I was terrified, after that, and so I set the fire. The reason we were running was because I was scared. Scared of what would happen next or that I'd lose my sisters."
"......"
"I get no joy in doing and knowing what I did. Shooting Ragyo and burning down the house was one thing but living with the memories were another."
Ryuuko told me that there was something else I needed to know, and I asked her what it was. "It's about that day where Sissie was hit by a car." Nonon said, because Ryuuko couldn't get it out. I remember that Satsuki got hit by a car and ended up in a wheelchair but not too much else besides that because Ryuuko and I weren't included too much. "What about that day?" I asked, suspicious.
"One thing you especially need to know is that, what happened, was never Ryuuko's fault."
"But she told you—"
"Hush!—I was hurt by what she said, admittedly, but it wasn't a reason for why that day happened."
"What did happen?"
"I will say that, yes, I was hit by a car but only because I threw myself in front of it."
"Why?!"
"In my mind, the alternative was worse and, instead of facing what I thought was the alternative, I opted to kill myself instead. With mental illness and trauma, dying made sense."
