Wasted Time

Chapter 4

Michael's POV

I raised my eyebrows as my phone kept ringing. I was trying to get hold of Calum, but he wasn't picking up his phone. We had got a lot closer recently, after we had all become more distanced from him during mine and Luke's argument over Emily last year, and since I knew Luke and Ashton were going ice-skating with Emily and Maddy, I thought it might be nice for us to spend some time together.

"Calum Hood, most attractive man on the planet and all-round awesome. How may I help you?" I paused.

"What if that wasn't me calling you?" I laughed.

"I knew it was you," came Calum's voice from down the phone, and I could almost hear him rolling his eyes. "Your picture came up on my phone. I should probably change it, it's a bit out of date."

"Which one is it?" I asked curiously.

"The one where you have pink hair and eyeliner. You should bring back the eyeliner. I liked it."

"I'm thinking about it," I teased. "Anyway, I was wondering, since everyone seems to be going ice-skating tonight, have you got any plans? I was wondering if you wanted to do something together."

"Ah, sorry man, I said I'd meet Flavia... You know I haven't seen her since we got back, and this is the only day this week that she's free. Another time, though?"

"Yeah," I said, trying not to sound disappointed. "Sure, don't worry about it. I'll see you around, yeah?"

"Okay, bye," Calum said, and quickly hung up. I switched my phone off and threw it onto the sofa next to me before letting out a long breath. I leaned my head back and stared up at the ceiling of the flat I was sharing with the rest of the band, fairly near to Emily and Maddy's house in London. I hated being by myself in the evenings. I used to like it, but now it just made me feel lonely and upset. I brought my legs up onto the sofa and curled myself into a ball.

I had thought a year without seeing Emily and Luke together might help me to get over it, to forget about my feelings for her and move on, maybe even meet somebody new, but I hadn't been able to feel anything for anybody else. Coming back and seeing them together again was difficult for me, but I wasn't sure if it was more painful to watch them together, or to be alone and know that they were out having fun without me. It would be much easier for me if I was able to hate them, but I couldn't. Luke was one of my oldest friends, and Emily was a wonderful person. I loved them both, I just didn't want them to be together.

I really couldn't think of anything to do at the flat, apart from maybe songwriting, but I had been trying to do that all day without much success. Sometimes it worked out, and I had loads of inspiration, but other times I sat for weeks on end without thinking of anything. I drew back the curtain and looked out into the street. Normally I didn't like going out without the boys, and often I didn't even go out with them, but maybe tonight my best option was to go out and be somewhere with other people, loud noise, an environment to make me forget everything else.

**

This was perfect. Just the kind of environment to help me forget. I pushed my way through crowds of people to the bar.

"What do you want?" asked the girl behind the bar.

"Strongest thing you've got," I shrugged. She looked at me with a hint of sympathy in her eyes before going to fetch a drink. I handed over the money and took a large gulp without really bothering to find out what it was. I grimaced - it was certainly strong. I sat down on the nearest stool and drank it as fast as I could.

"Hey, sweetheart," came a soft voice from beside me. "Careful, don't drink that too fast." I looked round to see a girl standing next to me. She was wearing an extremely short skirt and a very low top. I breathed in sharply when I noticed her hair. It was dyed blue, rather like Emily's.

"Like what you see?" she smirked, thinking that I was gasping at her figure. "Come with me, I'll show you the rest..." I opened my mouth to correct her, but stopped when a memory surfaced in my head.

Last year, soon after Emily had kissed me and when we all hated each other, we all went to a club and I was approached by a girl who clearly wanted to have sex with me, and I almost went with her before Luke stopped me. This was a different club, a different girl, but this time nobody was here to convince me not to go.

"What do you say? Come and have some fun with me," she suggested, edging closer so that she was shoving her chest into my face. I set my glass down on the bar, my mind struggling to work past the drink and make a decision. Eventually, I moaned and let her drag me out of the door. I had no idea where we going, but my brain was too cloudy to figure anything out any more. I just followed the smudge of blue through the dark streets, my drunken mind pretending that it was Emily.