I left Aunt Melissa there in the lobby. I still need to find my supervisor. I went to the 8th floor at the south wing. One of my junior staff saw me. She rushed towards me and called my name.
''Addie!" she called out. I smiled at her.
"Hi Liz, is Mrs. Lee there?" I asked, trying to assure that the person I would like to talk to is there. She gave me a nod. I saw Casey. She's my co-senior staff. She's in charge tonight. She saw me.
"Cas," I said. She stood up immediately upon seeing me. She gave me a hug.
"Are you ok now?" she asked, her eyes full of concern.
"Getting there..."
"How's Drake?"
"Still intubated. Series of tests were done and I think they will start with chemo...but he's terminal..."
"I'm sorry to hear that..." she said sympathetically. "Mrs. Lee is inside. Talk to her before she leaves. She just extended her duty to cover for your absence..."
"Thanks Casey." I knocked at the door of the manager's office and gently opened it. Mrs. Lee was there filling up some papers. She looked at me and I went inside with her cue. I closed the door behind me. She asked the same question as Casey's.
"I know how much Drake means to you. I mean he became your family since you've been alone a little early...but you can't leave your work just like that Addie. You should've called at least 2 hours before your shift...don't you know it's really a confusion here yesterday?" she reprimanded. I understand her. Family vs. Work.
"I understand Mrs. Lee. I am very sorry for what I have caused you..." I apologized sincerely.
She sighed.
"Good thing you're one of my best staff here and I know that it is really an emergency why you left like that...I know you follow hospital protocols. Just next time, call Addie. I'm just a dial away..." she said.
"Yes ma'am. Thanks for understanding..."
She shook her hand for 'no worries'. "Tomorrow, don't be absent. You'll be on morning duty, ok?" she said lastly and I gave her a nod.
"Go home and rest. You look so tired, "she joked.
I went to the hospital chapel. I sat down there and began to pray.
"Dear Lord God Almighty, I know I will be very selfish if I asked you to save Drake only. I am sorry for that. As of the moment, he's been the only person in my mind..." I said silently in my prayers. "I'm here, kneeling in front of you...asking to save the man that I love...the man who became my world and only family...he's the only one I've got..." I continued. "I will do anything...everything...just bring him back...and when he comes back...I'll tell him how much I love him...please..." I pleaded silently as I sob.
The next day I went to work. I fix myself like the usual---hair combed, light make up on, neat uniform and pair of shoes. We prayed before starting the shift. It's another 12 hour shift. We have 16 sick kids today. I have 4 staff nurses on duty. At the back of my mind, at least somehow I will be busy. Somewhat I can focus to something else. We finished the endorsement and I started working. Like the usual morning routine for a charge nurse, I made sure that I can make my rounds to all the patients and be able to know them and check their concerns. So I started with the first patient, a boy with fever followed by another boy with frequent diarrhea, then another kid for surgery...
By 9AM, I started working with the doctor's rounds and carrying out orders for treatment and discharge. I wasn't in the mood to talk nor have fun with my colleagues. I just work and work.
"Miss Addie, its 1PM, aren't you going to eat your lunch?" Liz asked.
"Thanks Liz but I am not yet hungry," I passed. She exchange glances with the ward clerk. Nikki, the ward clerk, handed over some crackers and juice. I looked at her.
"Better eat. Drake will be angry if we let you skip your meal," she said and she gave me a wink. I chuckle. "Thanks girls."
The whole day went smooth. I can't say that it is not busy but I think 'light' is the term.
"Miss Addie, would you like to hop in? I'll drive you home," offered Keith.
"Thanks man, but I need to see Drake before I go home. Maybe next time...Thanks though," I said. I checked my cellphone. 9 missed calls from Uncle Ted. My heart began to beat fast. I started to walk towards the elevator going to the 3rd floor to the ICU. I redialed his number but he's not answering the call. The elevator is taking forever. I went to the fire exit and ran downstairs towards the 3rd floor. I opened the exit door of the 3rd floor and rushed towards the ICU. I saw Aunt Melissa crying on Uncle Ted's chest. Uncle Ted was also crying. He's wiping off his tears. I walked towards them. Aunt Melissa saw me and rushed to my direction. She wailed.
"Addie..." my name is the only word that I understood. She was crying so hard that I can no longer understand what she's trying to say. She was shaking her head. I look over her shoulders and saw Uncle Ted. He shook his head too and was crying also. He turned his back from me. I suddenly felt numb. I accidentally didn't realize that my phone is no longer in my hands. I heard a thud and saw it on the floor.
"I wanted to see him..." I told Aunt Melissa. She let go of me. I walked towards the ICU. I saw the intensivists and nurses trying to revive him. I gasped in horror. I can see how they tried to pump his chest. I can see how the other nurse inject epinephrine. My tears were flowing already. I turned my back because I can't bear to see him being resuscitated. But I can hear the sound of the flat line from the machine. Long beep sound was there. It's no longer the short rhythmic beeping sound. It's the long plain beep sound. I fell on my knees. I heard the door opened. Dr. Steven came out. Mr. and Mrs. Bach rushed to him. I stood up.
"I'm sorry. We tried everything we can..."he apologized. The couple hugged each other and cried. I tried to be strong even if I can't stop my tears. I wiped them drop every drop.
"Addie, I'm sorry..." he said. I just nod my head. He invited us inside the ICU. His parents run towards him and cried. I can see from where I stand how much they love Drake even if he's not their real son. Aunt Melissa hugged her son and wailed. I can't get any closer. A nurse passed by in front of me.
"Ma'am, what is his time of death?" I asked the nurse.
"It's 2156H ma'am..."she replied. I thanked her.
I stared at him. October 20, 2009 at 9:56PM. I told myself. I walked towards him. His parents gave me some time with him. I sat beside him. I sobbed.
"Why?" I whispered to his ears. Then I wiped my tears.
"I didn't get the chance to confess how I feel about you..."
"Don't you know how much I hate you right now? Because you left me...you're my family...the only family that I have..."
"I'm sorry I wasn't able to save you...I'm sorry I wasn't able to tell you how much I love you..." I said while sobbing.
I lean towards his ear again and whispered, "You're one of the best thing that happened to me...I hope your soul may rest in peace. I know you're in His loving hands already. Take good care up there, Drake..." I said in farewell. I kissed him on his forehead just like the other days...just like how he does it to me every single day on those days that he was still alive.
October 20, 2009 at 9:56PM my best friend Drake Bach died of cancer.
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