CHAPTER 9: ROOFTOP
I walked out in front of Dr. Mitchell. He's just new and he started to annoy me. I rolled my eyes as I walked towards the elevator. I attended to some of my patients in the other floors. Some of them on recovery phase some are about to go home. I am not that numb. I am fully aware that the nurses are afraid of me. I know. I was once a nurse too, back 8-10 years ago. I used to be the best...the best in everything. I am every doctors' favorite back then. I don't know why I suddenly became like this that now everybody's afraid of me, if not, hate me. I don't care. I know some stories. Some I can hear in the cafeteria. Well, accidentally though.
"Do you know that neurosurgeon? She's scary!" I heard one nurse commented.
"Why? How did you say so?"
"Well, first of all...she doesn't really smile...like at all. Her face will either be flat or angry...you just need to choose between the two..."
"Yeah, she really doesn't really smile. But I can't say anything about her management with her patient...it's really an A+."
"I agree with that...she is really something when it comes to her field. I wonder how she does that...you know, like whenever she visits her patients...she's like an angel. She speaks soft and very convincing and she really does explain a patient's condition very well..."
"Yeah, that's why even if she's very strict...umm...stubborn...I love to do the rounds with her," mentioned the nurse. They were not aware that I'm just standing behind them. When they saw me, they went away and didn't look back. I just ignored it. I chose to be the way I am now. I just don't know if I still have a purpose.
Since Drake died, I just can't get over it. I know that my grieving process or mourning has been there for too long. Especially that day that I accidentally found a letter at the back page of his diary. I read it and I don't know how can I handle the gravity of that envelope.
Dearest Addie,
I always wanted to give you this letter but I don't think I will have the guts to let you know how I really feel. I was looking at you while you were studying and I can see how smart you are. As I gaze at you, I knew that I am in love with you. Maybe even before and I am not just aware of it or I am just under the denial stage. Well I don't know. One thing is for sure...and that is surely...that I am in love with you. I can't tell it to you because I know you will laugh and I know for sure you'll tell me that I am just making fun of you...well I am not. I admire you so much. You are a strong woman. You continued your life even without your parents. You strived so hard to achieve your goals and with that you just made me fall in love with you each day...
That was the content of the first letter. It was short but it has the sincerest message I have ever read in my life. I regret I wasn't able to know all of this in the beginning. If I only knew then what might we could have been now. There was another letter which was written a few days before my birthday.
Addie,
I'm so sorry for what I have become. I am so sick. You know how much I wanted to be with you. Always. You know that. I'm so sorry to leave you this early. I wanted to see you the way I always wanted you to be...the happiest woman in the world. I always wanted to ask you this question: Can you make me the happiest of all men? Will you marry me? I always imagine us to be together but whenever I will think of my condition, it gives me a heartache. Just in case you'll be able to find this diary and these letters, you'll know how much I love you. And I'm sorry for not being there on the next years of your life. Enclosed with this letter is a check. I hope you'll find it useful for your dreams. Remember, I love you. Drake.
Yes. He did left a check. I don't where it came from. It's worth more than a million. Enough for me to pursue me dream...my dream of becoming a doctor someday. It took a while before I decided to pursue my dream of going to med school. I resigned in the hospital as a nurse and continued for med school. It's hard to let go of the job that you began to love. But then, I always wanted to become a doctor. I know he wanted me to do this too. I told Aunt Melissa about the millionaire's check. She was surprised to know it and since its Drake's wish...she supported me. I was like a daughter to them. They became my parents...they always were.
I specialized in neurosurgery. It has always been my dream to be one. I graduated with honors once again. I was able to practice in the best hospital and was very proud to be under the preceptorship of a well-known neurosurgeon. I became a sought-after surgeon. I am the youngest neurosurgeon. No patient has ever died under my care. With all this blessings, I owe it all to Him and Drake. In every patient that I will have, I always see Drake in them that's why I give them the utmost treatment and management they deserve.
I stayed in my clinic. I was doing some report. I closed my eyes and minimized the window for typing some documents for a case presentation. I removed my eyeglasses and rest my eyes. I opened them and stare at our picture. It's the best picture of us that I have. I checked my watch and it's already 8:30PM. I haven't eaten my dinner yet. Maybe that's why I can't focus anymore. I checked my backpack and saw some packed cookies. I grabbed a soft drinks from the fridge. I locked the doors and went to the lift. I pressed the P button. I waited inside the elevator. When the lift opened at the penthouse, I looked at the glass door in front of me. I can see myself plainly. Ragged jeans, chucks and loose shirt. I tapped my ID on the sensor and it opened. I walked across the rooftop of the hospital. I love it here. It's relaxing. The cool breeze swept my face. I sat down in one corner. I scan my tablet and opened the folder of our pictures. I was playing a song in the background. The song goes "'cause I was born to tell you I love you and I was torn to do what I have to...to make you mine and stay with you tonight..." I was looking at his picture in the background. I put on one side of my headset to my ear. I began to close the music and began to watch some cartoons. I was eating cookies and gulping on some of my drinks. I chuckled on a particular scene. I was busy eating and watching when suddenly...
"You're beautiful when you laugh," said a voice. I suddenly stopped and stood up. I looked around where did the voice came from. My heart beat fast. I was startled. I almost drop my tablet. I was holding on to the tablet when I saw someone sitting on the edge of one of the blocks in the rooftop. I squinted on it. I can't see since I left my eyeglasses downstairs. I can figure out who was it. I can familiarize myself. Was it the guard? Or a ghost? The image is getting clearer. He's a man. I'm sure of that. He's tall. He's on coat. Oops. A doctor. I still can't see that much. It is still blurry. Though I'm sure he's a man and a doctor. I swallowed my cookies that were not chewed properly. Ouch. That's painful.
He started to come nearer and nearer. My heart beats faster and faster as he comes closer. I took one step back and then seconds later, he's 5-6 feet away from me when I realized who he is. It's Dr. Mitchell.
"What are you doing here?" I asked. He smiled. He cheerfully answered, "I think I should be the one asking you that question." I raised my eyebrows. He laughed. I didn't smile.
"Well, I just want to breathe some air...I realized I can't stay in the caf, in my clinic, chapel or anywhere else...suddenly I realized that there's a penthouse then I said, why not come here..." he said.
"So you've been here before I came?" I asked, as I try to pack up my things.
"Hmm..yeah. I saw you from where I was sitting. Well, I thought you saw me because you looked at my way," he said nicely.
"Ok. I better go," I told him. I turned my back.
"Wait," he said. I felt his hand catch my wrist. I shut him a look. He immediately let go and raised his hand.
"I'm sorry...I..."
"I don't like to start any conversations with anyone, especially to people like you," I exclaimed.
"Why are you so irritated at me? Was it because of what happened the other day? Well, I'm sorry...I didn't mean to do that..." he apologized.
"You know what Dr. Mitchell, stop fooling around. I hate it when people messes up with my life, ok?" I said stubbornly. I left him there. The lift began to close. I was breathing heavily inside the elevator. I headed to my clinic. I took my glasses and grabbed my backpack. I left the hospital before 10PM. I went to the basement parking lot to get my car. I sit behind the steering wheel and I sighed. I closed my eyes and started the engine.
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