𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗼𝗹𝗳 𝘄𝗵𝗼 𝗰𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘀 → 𝑟.𝑙𝑢𝑝𝑖𝑛

fifteen

- How are you feeling? asks James as he sits down on the bench.

Remus doesn't answer; he looks at the water of the lake and struggles to hold back his tears. A lump grew in his throat as he tried not to start crying. Taking a breath, he shrugs his shoulders and turns his head towards his best friend.

- How would you feel if you had to break up with the girl you're madly in love with?

- Badly, admits James. But you know you don't have to do that. She's going to hate you, especially as she's coming home from hospital today.

- I prefer that she is alive and that she hates me, says Remus. I thought I'd killed her. And even when she was bleeding to death, she tried to comfort me, even though she was the one who was hurt.

James says nothing and looks at Remus. He looks tired. At night, he hears him tossing and turning and sighing. When Tria was taken to hospital three weeks ago, Remus went every day, taking advantage of the fact that she was in a coma. She was wearing a huge bandage on her throat and when Steviah came to see her, she was awake.

The Slytherin then told Remus that Tria was asking for him, but Remus was never able to go and face her. She couldn't speak for days, her vocal cords damaged. He He sighs and runs a hand through his hair. He should never have gone near her. He's a monster and Tria is just the opposite.

- Come on, says James, you can always change your mind. Remus, you love her and she loves you.

- No, says the dark-haired one. It's precisely because I love her that I've made this decision. Tria won't die because of me.

Remus turns on his heels to go back up to the common room and freezes when he sees her. He staggers at the sight of the scars on her throat. She's holding a sheet of paper in her hand and when she sees Remus, she smiles, her eyes beginning to sparkle.

- Mr Remus! she exclaims.

The little brunette runs to him and hugs him, but Remus doesn't move. He remains paralysed. Tria steps back and watches him, her little nose wrinkling as she frowns, her eyebrows almost touching.

- I've missed you, she says. Steviah said you were very busy, but I'm glad to see you. Are you all right? How come you never told me you were a werewolf?

- Tria, stop it, Remus breathes weakly as she continues.

- The food at the hospital wasn't very good and...

- Tria! Shut up! shouts Remus.

The girl stares at him as her eyes fill with sorrow and Remus swallows hard. He's sorry he shouted at her and he wants to hug her, to apologise, to cry, but he remains upright and forces himself to be distant.

- What's wrong? asks Tria.

- What's wrong? But Tria ..., that's exactly what's wrong! exclaims Remus. Look, I'm ... I'm so glad you're all right, that you're alive and ... that you're back, but I ... I ...

Remus stops and looks at her. Is he ready to destroy her? He knows, he's always known that when she loves, she loves with all her heart, and he inhales. Tria looks at him, sadness replacing disbelief.

- I don't want to be your boyfriend any more, he says.

- You're not in love with me any more? asks Tria.

Remus' eyes fill with tears and he feels his heart break. He knows what he has to say to make her hate him, and even though it hurts terribly that he hates himself, he gathers his courage and shakes his head.

- No, he replies. That's why I didn't come to the hospital. I didn't want to see you. I'm sorry because I should have told you before, but I don't love you.

- Oh... but I love you, blows the brunette.

- I don't, so leave me alone, says Remus.

He's frozen in place, and when Tria clings to him and begs, telling him that if it's because of what happened, she doesn't blame him, Remus feels his heart break even more. She clings to his arm, crying, but he pushes her away, a little too hard. Tria falls on her bottom, crying, and he hurries off.

Remus runs through the corridors, bumping into students and crossing the hall before fleeing outside. James spots him and starts to run after him, but he doesn't stop. He runs into the forest before screaming in anger and grief and falls to his knees, crying. He feels James's arms around him. Tria hasn't moved. She lies motionless on the ground, crying.

It took her a few long minutes to get to her feet and wipe the tears from her cheeks. Her paper slips out of her hand as she runs into her dormitory. Marlene jumps up and rushes over to her, and Tria cries in her arms. She cries for a long time and finally falls asleep, crying so much.

Remus eats his dinner in silence, feeling Marlene's glare and James's look of pity, and he doesn't eat much. He feels Tria's absence from the table and again a lump gets stuck in his throat. He goes back up to the common room, James beside him, but neither of them speaks. The bespectacled boy picks up a paper out of curiosity and when Remus turns to him, he hides it behind his back.

- What is it? asks Remus.

- Nothing, it's ... someone's dropped their homework, says James. Shall we go into the bedroom?

- Why are you hiding it behind your back? Show me.

- It's nothing, I tell you! Come on, let's go to the bedroom.

James walks past Remus, but he snatches the paper out of his hand and he freezes. This is anything but homework and he feels his eyes sting. The dark-haired man turns on his heels as James calls out to him, but he doesn't listen and slams the door to the common room before stopping in a dark corner. Remus sits down on the floor and looks at the paper again.

It's a drawing by Tria. She can't draw and it looks like a child's drawing, but he recognises the shapes anyway. The brunette has drawn them and there are hearts. The flyswatter inscription hurts even more.

"For my Mister Remus whom I love. You are my lover forever. I love you as the moon loves the sun."

Remus thinks back to the words of that shop assistant. Perhaps he has made a mistake. Tria was hurt physically, but not mentally, but their break-up, did the opposite. So was it just now that he hurt her the most? The dark-haired man sighs and holds the drawing close to him. He loves Tria, he loves her with all his heart, but he refuses to hurt her again, so he takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. When he opens them, he has made a decision: he will never hurt her again. His happiness is Tria and he's prepared to live an unhappy life knowing that Tria is alive rather than take the risk of loving her and being with her.