How Jizzie became a thing
King Joel: Well, aren't you sugar and spice and everything nice?
Ocean Queen Lizzie: Well, aren't you rudeness and sarcasm and... uh...
King Joel: No, go on. If you find something that rhymes with 'sarcasm' and makes sense, I'll admit we're a couple.
Ocean Queen Lizzie: Well, aren't you rudeness and sarcasm, making my heart spasm.
King Joel: *to Codfather Jimmy* So yeah, that's how we became a couple.
Codfather Jimmy: I- wha?
Where does it burn?
Audio from Deadpool
Firefrost witch Joey: *accidentally time travels from Witchcraft SMP to Empires SMP season 2*
Sausage of Sanctuary: *trying to fix the time travel accident* Hi there.
Firefrost witch Joey: *looking at Great Witch Shelby* Stay back, or, the storm witch dies!
Sausage of Sanctuary: Hah! *looks at Shelby* Storm witch, he called you 'storm witch', hehe.
Firefrost witch Joey: *shoots fire at them*
Sausage of Sanctuary: Woah, hold on, wait, wait! Okay, let's not do... whatever that is. Okay? Let's just talk! It's Pirate Joe, right?
Firefrost witch Joey: Firefrost witch!
Sausage of Sanctuary: Firefrost witch... ooh, that's a great name. Where does it burn? Just the fist or all the way up to the elbow?
Firefrost witch Joey: *shoots more fire at them*
Sausage of Sanctuary: Oh ho! Definitely all the way up to the elbow!
God Joel: Come quietly, or there will be trouble.
Sausage of Sanctuary: You stole that from Robocop! Just stand down! You're embarrassing me. Look, firefro- firefr- oh my- I can't say it, I'm so sorry!
Firefrost Witch Joey: *shoots even more fire at them*
God Joel: *gets hit and crashes into an empanada stall*
Sausage of Sanctuary: Oh, that's it! That does it! *takes out his Staff of Sanctuary* Put your hands behind your knees and get down on your head, now!
If Oli dies
Oli: Hey, Sausage. If I die, I want you to take care of Greggy for me.
Sausage: It's cute how you think death is getting you out of this friendship.
Shelby: *alarmed* Can we go back to when he said 'if I die'?!
Is Sausage high?
Gem: Sausage, are you high?
Sausage: Am I what?
Gem: High.
Sausage: Hello!
Marshmallows
Count fWhip of the Grimlands: Gem, do you think I can fit ten marshmallows in my mouth at the same time?
Wizard Gem: You're a hazard to society.
Lord Sausage: And a coward, do twenty.
The Wither Rose Alliance's braincell
Pearl: *to Joey* The Wither Rose Alliance shares one braincell. Thankfully, it's usually Gem who has it.
Gem: We have a code purple.
Pearl: Oh no, again?!
Joey: What does code purple mean?!
Pearl and Gem: Sausage has the braincell!
Who wins
Codfather Jimmy: *screams*
Ocean Queen Lizzie: *screams louder to assert dominance*
King Joel: Should we do something?
Scott of Rivendell: No, I want to see who wins
Witches and pirates
Audio from Pirates of the Caribbean
Great Witch Shelby: *being captured and about to be hanged and trying to bluff her way out of it* I'm not a witch! I forgive your common dimwittedness and feeble brains. In short, most of you have the mind of a goat-
Pirate Joe: *in a guillotine because he was also captured* Is it not common practice for those about to be executed to be granted a last, I don't know, something more?
Great Witch Shelby: I believe I was making a point? If you could just be patient?
Pirate Joe: No! My head's about to be lobbed off, hence the urgency!
Great Witch Shelby: And my neck is to be broken.
Pirate Joe: Did you know that on occasion the neck doesn't actually break, it just hurts?
Great Witch Shelby: What?
Pirate Joe: Oh, yes. I've seen men swing for hours, eyes bulging, tongue swelling, revolting, good-
Great Witch Shelby: May I finish?!
Pirate Joe: No!
Great Witch Shelby: Kill the filthy pirate, I'll wait.
Pirate Joe: But the witch is first-
Great Witch Shelby: I'm not a witch!
A boxful of lost things
Katherine: Imagine if someone handed you a box of everything you've lost over the years!
Scott: Oh, wow! My childhood innocence! Thanks for finding it!
Joel: My will to live! I haven't seen this in over twenty years!
Jimmy: I knew I lost that potential somewhere!
fWhip: Mental stability, my old friend!
Katherine: Could you guys lighten up a little...?
Does Joel have kids?
Oli: Do you have any kids?
God Joel: Biologically, legally, or emotionally?
Oli: ...
God Joel: There is a difference.
YOU ARE READING
Empires SMP incorrect quotes
FanfictionEven though it says this book is completed, I will actually be posting whenever I feel like it. I just don't know how to end a book that could go on indefinitely... So anyway, this book will have quotes that the Empires SMP members actually said, st...
