Drawer
Joel: *painting chaotically*
Lizzie: Wow, you're a good drawer, Joel.
Joel: Thanks, but 'drawer' isn't a word.
Lizzie: Yes it is.
Joel: No it isn't.
Lizzie: Yes it is.
Joel: No it isn't.
Lizzie: Yes it is.
Joel: No it isn't.
Lizzie: Then... *stares at a closet drawer* Then what have I been putting my clothes in?!
Pain tolerance
False: You have a very high pain tolerance.
Sausage of Sanctuary: Thank you, it's from my trauma.
Lizzie and Joel's confession
Ocean Queen Lizzie: *walking into a room with Joel and talking to Jimmy* Jimmy, we have something to tell you-
King Joel: *throws up and he and Lizzie both leave* I think that went well.
Ocean Queen Lizzie: You threw up then we both left.
King Joel: Ah, that's all in the past.
Ocean Queen Lizzie: It was literally thirty seconds ago!
King Joel: That's a matter of opinion.
Ocean Queen Lizzie: No it isn't. Let's try again. *walks into the room again* Jimmy, we have something to tell you.
King Joel: *chloroforms himself and Lizzie drags him out of the room again* I chloroformed myself, didn't I?
Ocean Queen Lizzie: Yeah. *Joel tries to chloroform himself again* Don't do it again! Look, you take the lead this time. *walks into the room again.*
King Joel: *incomprehendable nonsense to Jimmy* See, the thing is, Lizzie and I- I'll just kill you. *later* Lizzie, Jimmy, I'm gay! *later, to Lizzie about Jinmy* If I shoot him, we can make out!
Ocean Queen Lizzie: *to Jimmy* See, when two people spend time together- where are your legs?!
King Joel: *more incomprehendable nonsense*
God Joel: *teleports from season 2* Joel! I'm from the future! *points at Jimmy* Tell him he's ugly!
King Joel: *to Jimmy* You're chubby!
Ocean Queen Lizzie: You can't even do that right!
King Joel: *later* I'm really bad at this, aren't I?
Ocean Queen Lizzie: Yeah, Jimmy is never going to find out about us.
King Joel: Oh, that's what we were doing! *to Jimmy* Jimmy, I know this is hard to hear, but I'm dating your sister!
Codfather Jimmy: Yeah, that's fine.
Friends
Pirate Joe: Can't get friendzoned if you don't have any friends!
Princess Katherine: That is not how that works!
Heterosexual
Scott: My level of gay has reached 'sighing deeply whenever anything extremely heterosexual happens near me'.
False's life
False: I'm so tired of this life. I want to be a roomba. I want knives taped to me. And I want to be set loose
Traffic light
Joel: *teaching Lizzie to drive* Okay Lizzie, what does a green light mean?
Lizzie: Go!
Joel: A red light?
Lizzie: Stop!
Joel: And what about a yellow light?
Lizzie: If you floor it, you can make it!
Joel: …No-
Quiz for food
Grian: Hey I got you food, pick a number between 1 and 10.
Jimmy: Uh 4?
Grian: Wrong, no food for you.
Jimmy: Wait what?! WHY?! GRIAN PLEASE-!
Scott's a genius
Jimmy: Scott, you're such a genius!
Scott: Yes, I know.
Lizzie's language
Jimmy: Uhh.. Lizzie just asked if we want to… 'fell the mighty before their time and display their carcasses in our homes?'
Joel: *not even looking up from his phone* She's asking if you wanna cut down Christmas Trees.
Jimmy: Oh, that makes more sense.
YOU ARE READING
Empires SMP incorrect quotes
FanficEven though it says this book is completed, I will actually be posting whenever I feel like it. I just don't know how to end a book that could go on indefinitely... So anyway, this book will have quotes that the Empires SMP members actually said, st...
