How Sausage got a dad
Eddie: Yes, I'm adopting Sausage, and you cowards can't tell me 'no'!
Why Lizzie doesn't like onions
Ocean Queen Lizzie: Are you okay?
Codboy Jimmy: *crying* Yeah, it was just the onions.
Ocean Queen Lizzie: *Picks up an onion* What in the world did you say to Jimmy?!
Oli's life expectancy
Oli: I only have 6 weeks left to live.
Great Witch Shelby: Oh my, really?!
Oli: It's just a guesstimate based on the choices I've made.
Why Jimmy doesn't have more friends
Sheriff Jimmy: I don't need any more friends. I already have four.
Scott of Chromia: Don't you mean five?
Sheriff Jimmy: *looks directly at fWhip* No, I'm pretty sure I meant to say 'four'.
Why Joel's the sun
Mayor Lizzie: You know, Joel, you are the sun in my life.
God Joel: Why? Cause I'm smoking hot?
Mayor Lizzie: Because it hurts my eyes looking at you.
Scott wants to be a dandelion
Scott: Dandelions symbolize everything I want to be in life.
Jimmy: Fluffy and dead with a gust of wind?
Scott: Unapologetic. Hard to kill. Feral, filled with sunlight, bright, beautiful in a way that the conventional and controlling hate but cannot ever fully destroy. Stubborn. Happy. Bastardous. Friends with bees. Highly disapproving of lawns. Full of wishes that will be carried far after I die.
Jimmy: Edible.
How to pronounce 'banana'
Count fWhip of the Grimlands: How do you pronounce... I'm trying to think of a way to describe it without saying the name... Yellow fruit that grows in bunches on a tree.
Wizard Gem: A plantain.
Codboy Jimmy: Oh my- kick her off, kick her off! Kick her off the server, now! Boot her off the server! Ban! Slash ban! No, the other thing, Gem, how do you say the other thing?
Wizard Gem: *getting shot by fWhip with a fire aspect bow* fWhip!*runs and jumps in a river, gets out when she realizes she's not on fire anymore*
Count fWhip of the Grimlands: How do you pronounce that, Gem?
Wizard Gem: Why do I have to pronounce it? Are you going to murder me if I don't-?
Jimmy and fWhip: No no no nonono-!
Count fWhip of the Grimlands: Lizzie's saying that Jimmy pronounces it wrong, and Jimmy and I pronounce it the same way.
Wizard Gem: Banana.
Codboy Jimmy: Banana.
Count fWhip of the Grimlands: Banana.
Wizard Gem: How's Lizzie say it?
Codboy Jimmy: I don't know! I'm scared to know how she says it! How'd you say it again?
Gem and fWhip: Banana.
Wizard Gem: Maybe Lizzie says 'bah-NAH-nah', surely that's how a British person will say it. I'm making a bet now, that's how Lizzie's going to say it.
Codboy Jimmy: If she does say it like that, then I'm scared of British people because it sounds weird-
Wizard Gem: You're a British person!
Codboy Jimmy: I am a British person, but I don't- I don't accept that! It sounds strange, I don't like it.
Count fWhip of the Grimlands: British English is like that.
Wizard Gem: Jimmy, you pronounce it 'bah-nah-nah', you're with us Americans.
Codboy Jimmy: I am an American- no, I'm definitely a British boy, but I do not want to say 'bah-NAH-nah'.
Wizard Gem: I don't want Lizzie to come in here with a proper accent and say it like that-
Ocean Queen Lizzie: *flying in* bah-NAH-nah!
Count fWhip of the Grimlands: Say it again.
Ocean Queen Lizzie: Banana.
Count fWhip of the Grimlands: Banana.
Ocean Queen Lizzie: It's a banana, Jimmy! A banana. Jimmy, everyone in our entire country has always said 'bah-NAH-nah'!
Codboy Jimmy: So then I'll need to get someone else- Joel, get Joel. I need to know what Joel says. And don't even think of manipulating him, Lizzie-
Count fWhip of the Grimlands: And she's gone.
Codboy Jimmy: I need to know what Joel says, because if he says 'bah-nah-nah', there will be arguments in that house.
Wizard Gem: I wanna know how Scott says it. And Sausage. Sausage would be another interesting one.
Count fWhip of the Grimlands: No, you don't want to know how Sausage says it.
King Joel: *settling himself in* Here we go, here we go. *with a falsetto voice* Hello, it's Lizzie!
Codboy Jimmy: *typing 'banana' Joel, can you say that word in chat?
King Joel: bah-NAH-nah.
Codboy Jimmy: *Silently fuming*
Count fWhip of the Grimlands: Oh, he's mad.
King Joel: Why, how do you say it, Jimmy?
Codboy Jimmy: bah-nah-nah.
King Joel: You are stupid.
Guess what happened
Ocean Queen Lizzie: Guess what?
Scott of Rivendell: What?
Ocean Queen Lizzie: No, you have to guess.
Scott of Rivendell: I don't know.
Ocean Queen Lizzie: Jimmy is in the hospital.
Scott of Rivendell: Why would you make me guess that?! What happened?!
Lizzie's a multitasker
Lizzie: I'm a multitasker! I can disappoint twelve people at once!
Sausage isn't a lunatic
Sausage: I'm not a lunatic! I have the psychiatric report to prove it! A slender majority of the panel decided in my favor!
YOU ARE READING
Empires SMP incorrect quotes
FanfictionEven though it says this book is completed, I will actually be posting whenever I feel like it. I just don't know how to end a book that could go on indefinitely... So anyway, this book will have quotes that the Empires SMP members actually said, st...
