My Favorite Sin [Shin Hati x reader]

Chapter 12: Nightlife

As I entered the bedroom my heart wouldn't stop pounding loudly in my chest. A small layer of sweat had built up on my hands. Nervously I tried to rub the sweat off on my pants. While I was waiting for her to finally enter as well I started picking the skin on my fingers.

The sound of someone clearing their throat made my heart jump. As I turnwd to face the entrance I watched Ahsoka enter. She had a grin on her face that I couldn't fully understand.

"Are you alright?", she asked me whilst looking me up and down.

I quickly sat down to stop moving nervously around.

"Sure. Why shouldn't I be?"
She raised her eyebrows and crossed her arms. We both looked over as steps sounded. Shin entered with Sabine right behind her. She kept her gaze down and I watched her closely. The tired and sad look in her eyes pained me.

She kept on avoiding my  gaze while Sabine put the handcuffs on her left arm and the other part on the bed rail.

"Are you serious?", I asked her.

"I don't want her to kill you. Besides I think it's a bad idea leaving the two of you in here."

"Maybe you're right. With the handcuffs she won't be able to force choke me."

Ahsoka snorted besides me.
"Don't give her the wrong ideas."

I watched her sitting down. It seemed to be really uncomfortable but at least she wasn't able to just disappear over night.

"Good night and try to not kill each other." Ahsoka grinned widely at me and pushed Sabine out of the room. The silence started feeling weird as she shifted around trying to get into a good position.

I pulled my blanked closer around me. The rain made steady noises on the metal shuttle outside. Even though I always liked the steady rhytmn of the rain it didn't calm me this time.

"Do you need another pillow?"
She didn't answer for a while wich made me think she wouldn't respond at all.

"I don't need your pity."
Her voice sounded bitter.
I lifted my head and looked over to her. Her eyes finally met mine.

"Alright then. Good night."
I turned around facing the wall.
Her handcuffs sounded loudly with every movement.

It took me a while to get myself calmer. My heart kept on pounding too loud and I wasn't able to find a good position. Usually I fell asleep withing a few minutes but this time it felt like an eternity. I almost thought daylight would shine through the tiny window before I would be able to drift off. The noises from Shin moving around didn't make it any easier for me and I was tempted to just get her out of these annyoing handcuffs but the key wasn't with me. Only when I heard her deep and steayy breaths once she was asleep I could get myself to calm down.

That night I dreamed about home. It was a rather peaceful dream. The city, the people, Murley, all the things I once thought wouldn't mean anything to me. But as a warm tear started running down my cheek I knew that I was wrong. I missed to have company, I missed the room my sister and I used to share and most of all I missed the feeling of safety. As I turned around to the sound of steps I watched my sister enter our former room, Ezra besides her. They laughed and seemed happier than ever. No war, no Thrawn and finally reunited where they belonged.

"Do you two have any plans for today?"
My sister grinned widely at me and I felt confused.
Slowly I turned around looking at the bed I used to sleep in. Shin was sitting there, her hair has grown longer and she seemed a lot happier.

"Have you already forgotten, my sweetheart?"
The sudden feeling of discomfortblet me realized that something is wrong.

"This isn't real."
I whispered to myself.
Shins cold hands grabbed my face and almost made me jump.

"Of course it's not. Please wake up."

Something hit my head and I startled. My heart raced and I had to breath deeply.

"Finally. I thought you would never wake up."
I looked over to the girl. She sat on the edge of the bed and looked me up and down. Anger rose inside of me and I grabbed the pillow she had thrown at me. As strong as possible I threw it back at her but she caught it with ease.

"I need to use the bathroom."
I rubbed my eyes to get a clear vision and put the blanket aside. As I walked out of the room I heard her shout a 'where are you going' after me.

Ahsoka and Sabine were still asleep when I entered their room. I carefully searched their nightstand hoping to find the key.

"Do you need something?"
Ahsoka was now staring at me while I was still looning through her stuff.
My hopes of getting this done without anyone noticing it were destroyed and I explained the situation to her.

She wasn't really happy about getting up in the middle of the night but followed me back into my room without hesitating.

Once she opened the handcuffs and lead Shin to the bathroom we waited outside the door.
The silence felt weird and her watching me didn't make it better.

"Please don't wake me up again tonight."
I finally looked at her. She seemed tired almost exhausted and I felt bad for waking her.

"You could give me the key and I wouldn't have to."
She crossed her arms and inspected me even more.

"I think it is better when I keep it."
The door opened again and Shin looked at both of us. For sure she felt the weird tension between us and after what I did it was no wonder Ahsoka didn't trust me anymore.

"Then I can't promise it."
I tilted my head waiting for her reaction. For a moment I thought she might give in but a bittersweet smile spread on her face.

"That won't be needed."
She put the handcuff on Shins right wrist again and before I knew what she was doing the other end was tight around my left.

Before I was able to protest she already walked away. Once her door was closed I realized that she locked it and no matter what I did she the door wouldn't open up unless Ahsoka or Sabine wanted to.

"I like you better when you're handcuffed. The stupid smile of yours is gone then."
I slowly turned my head to Shin. The frustration, tiredness and anger made me want to scream at her.

"Careful or I might cut your hand off."
I watched the corner of her lip make a tiny movement. It wasn't a smile but it was close enough to wash all the negative feelings away.

We made our way back into the room. It was still night and I didn't know how much longer until the sun would rise. Once Shin decided to ignore the fact that we were tied togheter and just laid back into her bed I almost fell on top of her. I had no other choice than laying besides her. We both stared at the ceiling, the back of our hands slightly touching. She pulled the blanked over the two of us and I felt way too warm.

"Why did you jump off the ship."
She broke the silence and I was scared to answer. What should I tell her? That I wasn't able to leave without her?

"Why did you save me?", I asked in return.
She turned her head and her eyes met mine.

"Maybe I want to kill you myself."
I couldn't help but grin at her respond.

"Maybe the thought of you still being alive bothered me too much to leave."
She turned back to look up again. The nervous feeling returned as I realized how close we were.

She didn't respond to me but I felt her fingers brushing against mine. It was only a short moment before she pulled them away again. It took me a moment before I gathered all my courage and gently took her hand. For a moment I thought she might not want it or push me away but once she held on to mine I relaxed a bit.

My heart beated so strong in my chest that I feared she might hear it.
I wasn't brave enough to look at her or say anything. There were too many things I wanted her to know but I couldn't find the words to express them right. Maybe she felt the same. We stayed in silence until it became comfortable.

We kept our fingers interwined and I drew small circles on the back of her hand until she fell asleep once more. This time it didn't take long until I drifted off as well.