salvation ⟡ noah sebastian

chapter twenty-eight: a new home

Maria's POV:

This man never ceases to amaze me. He truly is the most amazing man in the world. He made me take a break of my self loathing next to my mother, to find a new home for her. I can't say I expected this from him because I didn't. This is an unbelievable amount of money to spend on me; on my family. People I hadn't given him a chance to get to know yet.

It was my own fault, really. I tangled myself in him. I needed him more than anything. After my birthday, I spent every waking moment dedicated to him. Loving him, pleasing him, comforting him. Taking care of the man I loved. It makes me feel shitty to think about, but I kind of forgot about my family. I stopped calling my mom every weekend, and it turned to only talking to her once or twice a month.

I know my mom didn't hate me for it. She wanted me to create my own life, and she understood I had other priorities now, but it still felt like shit. She raised me, and I didn't want to leave her ever. I didn't want to do what I did; forget her.

By the time we were done at the store, it was too late to go and see my mom, since visiting hours would end by the time we got there. We made the drive back to the hotel, sharing longing glances every minute, it felt like.

We hadn't had sex in two weeks, which is a lot considering we were basically fucking twenty times a day. I craved his touch, his lips, his cock. All of it.

But I wasn't ready. When I saw those texts from my sisters, something in me broke. Something that would probably take a long time to heal.

Maybe this wouldn't have happened if I never moved out here.
Maybe this wouldn't have happened if I didn't start fucking my boss.
Maybe this wouldn't have happened if we didn't go on that vacation.

All of it made me detach from him, more than I wanted to. He didn't do anything wrong. He did everything right, by god did he do everything more than right. But I couldn't fix my head, the thoughts swirling through it. I fucked up.

"Princess? Are you okay?" I nodded softly, "yeah, just thinking about my mom, don't worry." He sighed, knowing not to push it any further.

I was grateful for him. All he's done for me, for my mom. I was grateful he didn't push me to talk about it. I was grateful he didn't push me to have sex with him. I didn't know what to do anymore. How to be Maria. I felt filled with anger. Angry that I forgot about my mom over a man, even if that man was everything I've ever wanted. Angry that I didn't pick up the phone when my sisters called. Angry that I wasn't here to be with her in the first place. Angry that this was the card that got dealt to my mom.

Out of all the people I know, she did not deserve this. She was the perfect mother, I aspire to be just like her when I become a mom. She raised me near perfectly. She never yelled, but she never let me walk all over her. She taught me so many valuable life lessons, things I could never learn from anyone else. She gave me so much genuine love, so much of it. She cared about me, my day, how I was feeling, everything. She raised me to be like her.

Why did the universe put her into a coma?

We made our way into the hotel room, sleep nearly overcoming my body once we laid on the bed. I looked over at Noah, his eyes already on me; a sad smile found its way to his lips.

I frowned, extremely visibly. His eyebrows scrunched, and a pout now formed on his mouth. I want to smother him in love. Smother him with everything I had to give.

"Noah?"

"Yes, princess?"

"I know things feel different.... between us. I want you to know, it's not you. I'm beating myself up. For not being here with her. For feeling like I let her down. I'm incredibly grateful for you, Noah. You're truly... everything to me. I want to fix my thoughts because I don't want you to feel like I view you as anything less than my entire future... but it's going to take some time. Once she wakes up, I'll probably feel a little better." I sighed, feeling the tears fill my eyes. I'm so tired of being emotional. "I love you, Noah. I really do. I promise. It's going to be you that I love, for the rest of my life."

He smiles at me, "I was trying to be really tough, but my heart was starting to ache. Thank you for reminding me that you love me. I needed it immensely. Things will be okay, for your mom, your family, for you, and for us. I promise that to you. It's just going to take time." I nod in response, lacing my arm around his body, and my leg around his hips. The smell of him immediately bringing peace to my brain and body.

I relaxed, and fell asleep while he held me.

Noah's POV:

The fact that she still worried for how I was feeling, meant so damn much to me. I wanted to give this woman every piece of me, and every single thing she wanted.

She laid against me, finally feeling at peace, and I was so happy that she could relax fully. Even if it was just for a night. I lightly ran my fingers along her shoulder and back, giving her forehead kisses every other minute. I wanted her to know I had her, whether she was awake or not.

I had so much planned for Maria. It had been a couple of weeks, but I was ready to propose to her. I wasn't going to, since I wanted her to adjust to us as a couple, but I was ready to call her my wife already. I don't think I ever wanted kids. I didn't want to be like my dad.

But with her.

God, with her..

I want to have children with her. As many as she wants. I want to take care of her while she's pregnant and giving life to our babies. I want to watch her become a mom. I want to watch them grow up and look like her and I both, the perfect mix.

This woman, she has changed me so much.

After lots of thinking about her, probably two hours worth, I finally fell asleep, hoping once we woke up, her mom would be awake too.