The Pain That Grows Us

Chapter Two

Pain.

Everywhere.

My entire body is in pain.

"It truly is a miracle." The thin nurse repeats for the thousandth time, wonderment dripping from her voice, "You are lucky the driver saw you and was able to slow the car down before hitting you."

Or maybe I was extremely unlucky.

"Morphine." The word my only plea. I don't care what she thinks, or how lucky others consider me.

All I want is a break from the pain.

Her thin body moves around the bed towards the counter covered in medicine bottles and medical equipment. My eyes track her every movement, watching her fingers dance across the bottles looking for the one I want. If I was a better person I would care about the current treatment plan, would worry about the recovery time, but I am not a better person.

Tears of relief prick at my eyes as she picks up a small bottle filled with clear liquid. Her small arm digs around in the drawer looking for a syringe.
A moment.

That's all I want, is a moment of relief.

"No." Ryan snaps, and the breath in my chest catches.

The nurse cuts my brother a questioning gaze as she sets down the bottle and syringe. But my eyes are glued to that small bottle filled with the magical liquid that will take away all of my pain. It's so close, if I could find the strength to move just a few feet I could... relief is so close.

Why the hell she is listening to him is beyond me. She is supposed to be taking care of me, listening to me, not him. Not to someone who doesn't understand how it feels to have every inch of your body burning with pain. But the question is stuck in the back of my throat. It takes too much energy and hurts too much to talk.

"You aren't in charge here, Jack." My brother tells me leaning forward so his elbows are resting on his knees, "I am." He stares at me a beat longer, making sure I understand the weight of the situation I am in.

"Give him the morphine." He tells the nurse, but I know it is so he can have a conversation. So, I am clear headed and not focused on the pain. The nurse doesn't waste any time now that my brother isn't going to be a problem.

I almost feel bad for her.

It isn't easy having his anger directed at you.

"Just push the button if you need anything." Her voice barely above a whisper as she practically flees from the room.

The door doesn't get a chance to close before a thin pale hand is pushing it open. Her bright blue eyes light up when she sees me awake in bed, her strawberry blonde hair swinging behind her as she moves closer to me.

"How are you feeling?" her voice a soft melody, as she settles onto my brother's lap.

"Better." I grit, the medicine slowly kicking in as I maneuver into a poor excuse of a sitting position.

"I bet." My brother grounds out, anger darkening his face again.

"Ryan, be nice. Your brother was hit by a car." Alice's dark blue eyes snap to my brother.

"Because he was drunk." He tells her, his voice softening, "His blood alcohol level was point thirty-three Alice. If he hadn't been hit by the car just imagine what could have happened."

"And that's why you need to be nice. We are lucky it was an accident, and not on purpose." She whispers, holding his face in her hands.

Pain shoots through my heart as I look away. They think it was an accident. They don't understand. How could they? They don't know what its like to have her so close, but not be the one she wants. Damn it. I shouldn't want her. I shouldn't be jealous of what they have.