The Pain That Grows Us

Chapter Sixteen

Do you know what it feels like to have your phone handed back to you and have it buzz constantly, but it never be the person you want it to be? It is fucking torture. I shouldn't have expected Ruby to text me back, or call me back, I know that. But somehow here I am wanting to hear back from her. Needing to know that... I just need to know that she is alive. That I didn't really kill her.

"My sister still hasn't taken that from you?" Talia asks, throwing her cards down in front of her, a smug smile on her face. "I think I won, Jason."

"Fuck you... You have to be cheating."

"No. You just don't have a good poker face." Talia laughs, "But seriously, my sister hasn't taken that from you." she nods her head towards the phone in my hands.

"No." I don't want her too. I am hoping she will forget that I have it.

"Lucky bastard." Talia mumbles taking the cards Jason pushed her way.

"Don't think someone is lucky, Talia." Jason groans looking at his hand.

"Seriously? How do you expect to win when you act like that?"  Talia whines.

"Do you want to play with her? Since I am not good enough for her." Jason asks me, a smile playing on his lips. He wouldn't give his time up.

"Since when did you want to get rid of Talia?" I ask, knowing it will piss him off.

"Since she reminded me why I stopped playing poker with her." he glares at me.

"Did realize you were desperate for my attention, Jason. Last I checked you were the one who hasn't asked me out."

"For fucks sake. Can you stop saying shit when she is here?" Jason grounds out.

"No. Don't. I like knowing what is going on in his head every once in a while." Talia smiles down at her lap, as Jason sits across from her fuming.

"As if." Jason huffs, throwing his hand down.

"Don't think so." Talia smiles, throwing her hand down, winning another round.

"That's it. I am done. Go play with Britney. I am not playing with you anymore." Jason shakes his head, getting up from the floor.

"Want to play?" She asks me, a pout on her lips, as if that will make me agree to a round of poker.

"I am good."

"Are you sure? Just one round." she says, jutting her lower lip out even more.

"If you are smart you will say no. Each game takes a piece of your soul." Jason shudders sitting down at the desk.

"Don't listen to him." she pleads.

"No. I am not playing poker with you, Talia." She frowns, picking up the cards.

"Fine. You guys are no fun." She sighs, getting up from the ground. "You two deserve each other. You can be bored together." She glares at us in the doorway, waiting for us to change our minds.

When I just blink at her she storms away as if she can't stand us, but she will be back in a few hours. She is always here it seems. Like she can't help but be around Jason, even if Jason doesn't realize it.

"You have your appointment today, right?" Jason spins in the chair to face me, "The one with... oh what's his name... I remember you told me his name one time..."

"Dr. Ackleman." I sigh.

"Ackleman. That's right. Suck a weird last name." he turns back to the desk.

"I should be getting out of the wheelchair today. My shoulder should be better now." It's just a small thing, but it makes all the difference.

This morning when I showered I didn't feel the sharp pain I have in the past when I moved my arm too fast. I even touched my wheel to stop myself from running into the bed when Jason wheeled me in here and again I wasn't in pain. It's like my body decided to heal when I shared with the group the other night. If only I believed that. If only my physical recovery had something to do with my mental one.