The Pain That Grows Us

Chapter Three

"The shoulder will need to remain in a sling for the next three weeks, and then we can take another look at that tear." The doctor tells my brother, before moving on to look at my leg, "We can put a new cast on the leg then too."

"But is he okay to be released?" my brother questions, his fingers tapping against his leg, "If he stays in the wheelchair, and away from the alcohol, then yes."

Staying away from my escape the past two days has been hard. But not as hard as it was a few months ago. This time the shaking isn't as intense and neither is the sweating.

"That won't be a problem." Ryan answers, "Will it Jack?"

"No. It won't be a problem." I answer.

"Then after another round of brain scans I think you can hope to take him home this afternoon." My brother looks almost as relieved as I feel.

Hospitals have always been a place we avoided like the plague.

The door clicks behind the doctor softly. Silence wrapping around us. Too many words needing to be said between us and not enough time to say it. After all, how does one properly apologize for finding solace in something that only brings destruction to those around me? How does one comfort his brother when the brother is in denial of the circumstances surrounding him?

"You can spend the night at home, but you will be at the rehab center first thing tomorrow." I glance at my brother who looks like he has swallowed a bottle of bitter pills.

"Did you know Justin took art classes from Ruby?" I ask, "That he visited her while..." My gaze on the picture of me smiling.

My brother lets out a sigh, rubbing his hand down his face. As if he was hoping to avoid this conversation all together.

"I was the one who drove him to see her. They told him he couldn't see her after she- well you know."

He took him?

"She volunteered on the weekends most of the time. Alice used to hate it. Until she realized Ruby only wanted to help"

My brother's words make my heart ache. I didn't know that about her. I thought she spent her weekends with her brother, or the people she considered her friends.

"I should have known." my voice comes out as a whisper.

"You were too drunk to pay attention to anyone else on the weekends. And when you weren't drunk she was away getting help." He states.

His words aren't meant to hurt me. They are just a simple statement. As simple as telling someone the sky is blue, or that the grass is green. But his words do hurt me.

I should have known.

I should have paid closer attention to her.

I should have gotten out of my head for one moment, and focused on her.

"Father stopped by the other night." my fingers curl into tight fists at the mention of our father, "He has a job for you, but I have it handled. I just wanted to let you know, since you are still in charge of our territory."

"I thought you wanted out." My words are sharp, sharper than I meant them to be.

"I want you better more, I can handle a few more jobs while you recover. Since you will be recovering." he digs the knife in my heart a little deeper.

"What are you moving then?" He is right. He might have this job handled, but I am the one in charge. It is still my ass on the line, not his. And I need details. All of them.

"Snow." he whispers, his gaze a thousand miles away, "A whole hell of a lot of it."

"When?" There are some things you can't run from no matter how hard you try.