MARIEL

13~ Matthew 24 ~

Thursday, January 30th, 2020

'Good evening, my friends. I hope you are blessed on this grey day. I hope something joyous happened to you as it did me. I left the hospital today. Nathan brought me home. When I arrived, Esther, Harlow (my dear sweet cat), Muhammad, Ana, and John were waiting for me in the living room with a Welcome Home sign. I lost it. I cried, and they all hugged me so tightly. I felt safe and so loved. Despite everything that had happened, I felt like the Lord had placed me in the right place at the right time which, despite the chaos, He has often done. These instances can be very confusing though. If you remember, I was told to keep writing when I visited the Kingdom of Heaven. I will keep doing that but, whoever you are, please be patient with me. I'm still trying to figure out the importance of my writing and what role I have in this world. That being said, I would like to take some time to tell you where my head has been and what my goals to accomplish are moving forward.

As I settled in for the night, I realized that I've been stagnant to some extent. Since Mariel's adoption, my journals have been a journey of chaotic questioning, wondering, and description of events and visions. That's not a bad thing. However, I'm realizing now that there has been an intense spiritual battle at play since Mariel's return from the dead. I've spent years wondering "how" and "why", but I think it is now time for action. I have not mapped out that action yet, but I am hoping that through research, prayer, and wisdom, I will build connections between events and create dialogue that provides a strong stance against the evil unfolding in the world. I won't lie, this is intimidating, but it shouldn't be. Here's why. I can't do it, but God can.

I can't do it. BUT GOD CAN!

That is about as much as I can write. The narcotics are kicking in. Time for rest.

In Christ,

"Fr." Jerome

Saturday, February 1st, 2020

Good afternoon, dear readers. I hope you're having a wonderful weekend. I did not write yesterday because I felt very ill and could barely pick up the pen. It was a little embarrassing to be frank. Nathan took great care of me, and Esther stopped by with some chicken broth. Apparently, Mary Caravan made it, which gives me hope that some people from the church might still care for me. I know, I sound like a victim right now, but I was genuinely grateful. While Esther was there, I 'spoke' to her and asked if she had located her mysterious friend Tira. Esther said she finally had, and I could see how overjoyed she looked. There was still a level of concern, so I texted her and asked what was still bothering her. If I remember correctly, this is how the conversation went.

'I'm worried about her,' she said. 'I'm worried that Tira is stuck in an abusive situation and can't get out. She won't tell me anything. She told me on Thursday that if she disappeared she would be alright.'

I asked her how much she knew about Tira's life, and as I did so I remembered the image of Tira pulling a trigger, supposedly shooting me. As disturbing as the image was, I did not feel disturbed. I'm diverting, so let's move on to Esther's response. She told me that she knew little about Tira's life, except that she was from Russia, and worked for the police department, as well as a 'form' of the secret service. I asked if, given the circumstances and everything that has taken place in our lives, Esther trusted this woman. I believe Esther's eyes glistened. She responded very softly, but with a form of gentle confidence that is difficult to describe on paper. She said, 'Even through everything, I trust that woman with my life.'

And, despite my image of her killing me, I trusted that too. Suddenly, I had a desire to find her, to sit and talk with her and figure out her life. I would like to see what role she plays in my future and Esther's future.