MARIEL

11~Pig Bitch~

At 3:05pm, she had continuously attempted to call Fr. Jerome. Sobbing, Carolyn sat in her car outside the church in the parking lot, seeking the warmth after she had checked the locks on all of the doors in hopes that one would be unlocked and the priest would be inside. Now, his phone repeatedly sent her to his voicemail, and she had already left three tearful messages exclaiming that she needed to talk to him, that she needed help.

Eyesight blurred with tears, she entered her eldest daughter's name into the phone and called the number. It rang for several seconds because a young woman answered.

"Hey, mom."

Carolyn struggled to hide the emotion in her voice. "Hi, Victoria. How - how are you, sweetheart?" Her lips quivered.

"Um...I'm good. Mom, are you okay?"

She didn't respond.

"Mom... is Dad hurting you again?"

Again, Carolyn was quiet. Then: "I'm fine. I just called to ask how college was treating you and your sister."

"Mom, I swear to God if he put a finger on you - !"

"Don't use God's name in vain," Carolyn stuttered, and for a moment she felt her husband speaking through her, felt the same fury he felt when someone spoke against the Lord. It was that conscious feeling that made her shiver in disgust and hatred.

"I'm gonna hang up, now. I left you guys' house for a reason. So did Hailey. I can't stand to watch you get eaten alive by Dad's self-righteous, abusive behavior. And you let him, Mom."

Carolyn gripped the overhead grip handle above the window. "Please don't hang up, I'm sorry! I'm sorry. Stay on the phone with me." She lowered her head and could no longer hold the sobs she had tried to choke back.

"It's domestic violence. If he is putting his hands on you, call the police. At least be honest with someone."

Carolyn shook her head. "No... he hasn't always been this way. He has provided a good home for us, a paycheck." Her voice broke. "He... he truly loves us."

"Jesus, Mom, he has brainwashed you for years. Wake up."

A train whistle blared in the distance. Snow began to fall more heavily, blowing sideways as the wind increased and slammed against the car.

"Mom, you there?"

Carolyn stared at the blowing snow with bleak, hopeless eyes. "Yes."

"Do you need me to come to Chicago? Hailey and I can come and pick you up."

Carolyn leaned her head against the cold window. "Divorce is against God's will," she whispered, closing her eyes. She felt pain. All of it. Physical pain from Phil last night, but mostly emotional agony that continued to increase with a magnitude that she felt would kill her.

"I'll talk to you later, Mom. I give up."

Carolyn made no effort to keep her daughter on the phone. Head bent, she kept the phone to her ear for a moment longer and then let it slip from her fingers. It thumped against the door handle and then felt between the seat and the door.

Closer this time, the train whistle blew again. She had always appreciated the sounds of trains, as it represented moving forward, change of scenery, change of direction, going new places. Escape.

She was stuck, and she knew that the agony would continue once she returned home to Phil. Even though the wounds had miraculously disappeared by his gifted -

- unholy-

- hands, the pain of the beating remained fresh in her mind. The twisted, disgusted, horrifying look on his face as he came towards her with raised fists while screaming -