MARIEL

20~ Illegal Things ~

Esther had cried at least twice today. Once in the shower that morning, and once on the way to dance practice. She still hadn't recovered from the humiliation caused by last night's events, as well as the hurt and frustration she felt towards Mariel.

She wasn't sad. Esther was angry, and she hated when she cried in anger.

After dance practice, Esther checked her phone and saw that Mariel had texted his first apology. She didn't respond. An hour after that, he texted his second apology. By the third apology, he was pleading her, and she finally obliged him with a response.

'It's fine,' Esther texted, and stuffed the phone back into her pocket.

He persisted throughout the day, throughout her classes, throughout her time at the bookstore.

'You're still mad at me, aren't you?' 'Please talk to me.' 'I miss you.' 'I want to hold you again. And not sexually, I promise I won't expect sex for a while'. 'Esther, can I see you tonight? Let's meet somewhere.'

Finally, after she finished scanning the last customer's purchase, Esther responded to him again. 'I have plans tonight.' When she sent the text, she felt a ripple of excitement, and then it was overshadowed with a small sense of guilt.

'Where?'

Sighing, Esther slammed the register drawer, typing with one hand. 'Friend of mine.'

'Who? What friend?'

"Mariel, just shut the fuck up," she snapped, turning off her phone. As she stood behind the counter, Esther wanted to cry again, and she felt silly. The flood of emotions she felt today was overwhelming. Anger. Embarrassment. Fear that Hawk would say something. Excitement. Guilt. Excitement that she had an evening with Officer Mysterious. Guilt because she felt excited about it.

Esther couldn't place why she felt guilty. She supposed, in a way, she felt as though Mariel's return had been a gift that maybe she had not fully appreciated. Without a doubt, Esther wanted to spend time with him, but she needed space as well. Time to process. Mariel hadn't allowed her that. He wouldn't even talk to her. He wouldn't help her understand.

As a mental defense mechanism, Esther's mind had begun to create logical scenarios to explain away the strangeness of the entire situation. Perhaps he had never been dead. Maybe he worked for the government. Maybe she was insane. She certainly felt like it at times, and she had no one to talk to about this. The more unstable she felt, the more she felt the desire to drink, which was how he ended up at her place in the first place.

Simply put, after Esther had ordered pizza and had settled in to enjoy a night on her own, the alcohol had quickly warmed her system, and she couldn't stop thinking about the intense pulse between her legs. It was annoying, how predictable her body was.

Originally, as she drank more, the goal had been to take care of it herself. After all, she hadn't wanted to risk asking Mariel to come over with the chance that her mom or brother might return home from the hospital. However, as she had sprawled across the couch, closed her eyes, and traced her fingers from her chest to her lower abdomen, an unexpected image had appeared in her mind. In her mind, the person on top of her did not have Mariel's blue eyes.

The person had strikingly beautiful, emerald eyes.

Immediately withdrawing her hands from her pants, Esther had jolted upwards, gasping. Her heart had pounded intensely and her entire body had been flushed with desire, anger, and shame. After that, she had not hesitated to contact Mariel. She needed Mariel, wanted him, needed to fill her mind and body with him.