MARIEL

30~ Stay Away From Esther ~

Concerned for his father's wellbeing, Mariel had requested that he rest one more Sunday before returning to his duties as a priest. He had expected an argument but, albeit reluctantly, Fr. Jerome had agreed. Mariel had done his best to understand what had happened within Fr. Jerome's mind, but the priest refused to give him any information. The one thing that had haunted him, however, was the statement Fr. Jerome had made on the way home from the hospital.

'Stay away from Esther.'

The voice had been cold, much unlike the warm and concerning tone Fr. Jerome usually held. Anger had been the first emotion he had felt, and then confusion, and then fear. He felt fear because he knew, even though Fr. Jerome had no recollection of the statement, that his father was right. It was partially why he had insisted upon spending one more Sunday at home. He could not see her in that mind frame... it hurt too much. It was devastating to see her right now, even though he kept trying to convince himself that they were created for each other...that she could handle herself around him and that he could keep himself from hurting her. The most frustrating question in his mind was: how? How could he hurt her if he loved her as much as he knew he did? Physically? Emotionally?

"Please, God," he whispered. "Tell me what to do."

These were the things on his mind that Monday morning as he straightened the black, skinny tie over his white button-down. Despite being surrounded by fellow peers in sweatpants and hoodies, dressing as a business professional was his norm for school. Professors and other staff members noticed him and it built their respect for his quiet, assertive charm.

He buttoned his suit jacket and grasped his keys to leave.

Mariel kissed the top of his father's head goodbye before he left to go to school. He shivered in the cold as the engine threatened to stall, and his car's heater warmed slowly. As he drove to the college, he glanced at the cell phone on the passenger seat and he felt ill. He had not returned Esther's text. She knew he was bad at communicating via his cell phone, but he usually sent a response no matter how brief it was.

His mind was at war. Every fibre of his being wanted to reach for the phone, to see what she was doing and tell her he loved her. The humanoid encouraged him to do it, and for once, he wanted the other voice to speak to him and tell him what to do.

But he had a feeling he knew what the other voice, the judgmental voice, would say.

'You're only a vessel.'

Gritting his teeth, Mariel grabbed his phone and quickly sent Esther a message as he sat at the red light before the turn into the college parking garage.

'Sorry, Esther. Dad wasn't feeling well still and I spent the day with him. I should have texted sooner than this.'

He tossed the phone into the back seat.

In the forensic pathology class, he stared blankly at the handsome, brown-haired professor as the man spoke. His mind, yet again, was not on the topic, but on the phone in the back seat of his car. He was certain, if Esther was not angry, that she had responded.

'Please,' he thought. 'Someone tell me what to do.'

"Mariel," the professor stopped pacing and slipped his hands into the pockets of his gray dress slacks. "You wanted to talk?"

Mariel jolted in his seat. "I'm sorry. What was that, sir?"

The professor looked directly into his eyes. "You said you wanted to talk to me."

Mariel felt uncomfortable and he shifted in his seat. "I don't believe I said anything."

"Yes, you just did. And in the car. You wanted to talk to me."