Living in Derry Maine as a Bowers wasn't exactly a fairytale. Leslie Bowers was just trying to survive since her mom left, leaving Henry and her to their dad's vices. But Patrick Hockstetter happened. And he changed everything.
#1 in Stephen King ❤️...
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I slowly closed the door behind me upon entering the house, afraid of waking my dad from his usual drunken slumber. I knew this time of night he'd be completely out. But of course, Henry was geared up and waiting for me, just as usual. But my mind kept repeating the events of the day, Patrick constantly littering my thoughts.
"Where the fuck have you been Leslie? Whoring around with some asshole?" I simply glared daggers at his mullet sporting ass before shoving him aside to head up the stairs, but not before he spun me around so fast I nearly got dizzy from the mere spin. But the cut on his face and the pained look in his eyes he tried so hard to hide, told me the entire story.
"Dad?" I softly whispered into the moonlit hallway and saw his expression slowly soften, his now shaking hand loosening around my arm he once used to nearly yank me into the wall for whatever way he felt necessary of taking out his frustration on me.
"As usual.... He beat me for sticking up for your ass, told him you were staying with Marsh and he nearly lost his shit over it." Beverly being my best friend has always been another problem of his, not liking the influence he claims she has on me and my whoring ways. Of course, he always finds ways to take something out on me, all because his life turned to shit and well, I was the one that reminded him of the past. And he hated me for it every single day. I knew he did. But Henry? He wouldn't admit this, but he always looked out for me, even if he acts like he hates me to.
"I'm sorry Hens. I'm so sorry. I.... you know i can't always be here. I just can't. But I never want you getting in the line of fire for me. Dad is just...." My words trailed off into the empty space between us, so lost for words but yet, had so many I could call him. But not enough to fully explain how evil he truly is.
"A pig. A coward. A asshole. A dick." I simply nodded my head from his words, his hate filled words and I could just feel the seething rage from within him. Henry was on the verge of doing something I know he wouldn't regret. And honestly, neither would I at this given point in time. He wasn't our dad. He was the fucking devil. A mimic of sorts, trying to show a facade to the town of Derry when everyone pretty much knew he was a complete and utter asshole. I can't tell you how many times I've gone to school, completely bruised up from countless days and nights of beatings he'd give me for simply being....me.
"I want to kill him Les. I want to make him suffer the way he makes us suffer, makes you suffer. I know you aren't always with Marsh. I know you're with Hockstetter. But, I'm sick of hearing dad telling me to watch you 24/7 and do something if I find out anything. He doesn't know what I know. And we need to keep it that way. Otherwise, you'll end up dead." He whispered so quietly, my eyes widening once I finally registered that he knew about Patrick and I. But he didn't hound me, didn't do anything as a matter of fact because he was willing to go against dad, knowing this bit of information was a complete rebellion against his wishes.
"He won't know. Even if he finds out, we'll get through it. He won't hurt you. Or me. Enough has happened in our lives, he honestly can't hurt me anymore than I'm already hurting." My eyes averted to the moonlit window just down the hall between our rooms, seeing what appeared to be a face of sorts peaking at us from said moon, a face that looked like IT, but just chalking it up to my hallucinations from being tired out of my mind. If only i knew what that thing was really up to.
"You've been visiting mom a lot to...." His eyes locked with mine once more and I could see a hint of longing in his eyes, a longing for the mother we once knew, we once had. Goodnight kisses and bedtime stories, playing games and talking about whatever we felt like and had no fear of doing it also. With her, I could speak my mind and she listened. But dad? He wouldn't hear it. He'd kill me on the spot if he knew what I'd been doing. More like, who I'd been doing.
"She misses you Hens. She talks about you a lot. She feels horrible. She's hurting more than anything right now with Belle gone and it's honestly not good. I'm worried she's going downhill again." I knew she was. I could tell in her words, her eyes, her demeanor. She wasn't fully there anymore, it had broken her. This thing was destroying countless lives. Including mine.
"I just don't know if I can face her Les. I can't forgive her like that. Not like you can." He could barely look at me because he wanted to hide so perfectly what he was truly feeling. He was scared to show emotion because that's what he was taught. Never show pussy emotions, our dads words.
"You don't have to. I get it. But I can't stop seeing her. It's made me happy, truly happy. And as for Patrick? He makes my days better. He gets me up every single day with a smile on my face, one I normally don't have....." I softly trailed off with a smile already cracking on my face from the mere thought of Patrick, his smirk, his green eyes, the way he makes me feel. His everything.
"I outta kill him, that sack of shit. He lied to my face about it. And I know Criss knew. But, I knew eventually this would happen." We both chuckled a little into the night, our laughter easing us into a flow we normally don't have as brother and sister. It felt like things had shifted, even if only for that one moment. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ {The Next Day} A telephone call was the one thing I knew was coming, something that seemed so simple, so meaningless. But this time, it was anything but. Our mom had been admitted to Juniper Hill this morning for her troubled mind, they had said. Daniel did everything in his power to ease her since Belle had disappeared. But to no avail. But I knew it was bound to happen. Daniel in tears on the phone, told me he was so lost. That he felt he let her down, but he didn't. Everything was breaking apart. And I couldn't stop it.
"Don't blame yourself Les, okay? Your mom.... she's always had issues. But this broke her. Understandably why." Bev's soothing circular motions of her hand on my back, eased my troubled heart for the first time since everything happened. Not only was I hurting about my mom and Belle, but about what Patrick and I were to each other. The day I saved his life, I could have easily just saved myself. But he was all I thought about when escaping that thing. Pennywise, a name I'll always loathe.
"I feel like I lost her again, Bev. Like I could have prevented this had I watched Belle a little closer. But even then, this fucking thing would have found a way to take her regardless...." My eyes welled with tears as they slowly descended down my cheeks and to the ground below us, our usual spot behind my house being the one place I wanted to go after the phone call. Bev was lost for words. But her company was enough for me.
"Stop blaming yourself Bowers, okay? This kid eater is the bad guy here." I quickly wiped my eyes of stray tears the moment Patrick came walking up to me, having already seen how many tears I'd cried, thanks to my now puffy and red eyes. Henry must have told him where I was.
"And as for your mom, that's not your fault either. She's not right in the head anyway. But, this? Really sent her over the edge. I don't want to see the same thing happen to you.... maybe. Might be fun." I laughed, the first laugh since the call and it felt nice. Patrick's little smile of humor greeted me once he sat down next to me, suddenly bringing me into his arms with my head resting on his shoulder, something he never does. We didn't say another word, we all simply sat there into the night until Bev had to leave, leaving Patrick and I alone in the summer night to just simple be. And it was all I really needed.
