⭐️Kissing in the Rain

11: Nick

Why did you do that?

What were you thinking?

He probly hates you now!

He is your best friend!

These are the things that went through my head all night. I don't know why I did it. I don't like him. I couldn't like him; I'm straight.

But if I'm straight then why did I do it? I don't even know how to approach him now. He doesn't deserve this. I shouldn't have done that to him. How could I just run out of the room like that? He is probly so mad at me!

I groan in frustration at my own mistakes. I have been staring at my wall all night, just trying and failing to think of a way to say sorry to Ian. Is there any way to say sorry for kissing you with out making it sound like kissing him would be the worst thing that could ever happen ever in tthe history of the world? Most likely not. But I still have to try.

It is currently 6:32 and I do not know if Ian will still be in his room or of he is in the kitchen or outside. It depends on how he feels. If he is mad he is outside. Sad, in his room. Hungry, in the kitchen. And it is still pretty early... he might still be in bed.

I get up, grab a pair of jeans and a band tee from my closet(All Time Low, if you must know), brush my teeth, give myself a small pep talk in the mirror and leave my room. I make my way down the short hall to Ian's room within 1 minute even though I was walking slowly. I knock on the door, no answer. But I can hear his Tv. He never leaves it on. He is ignoring people. He is ignoring me. I'm not sure he's ever been this mad before.

I open the door and sure enough, there is Ian on his bed, looking sad as fuck. "Go away." He says, his voice sounding small. He is all curled up under the blanket, looking like a cute little kitten and wearing an oversized sweater.

"Now you know I can't do that." I say with a sigh. I feel so fucking horrible for doing that to him, if he never forgives me, I won't blame him. I sit next to him on the bed. "I'm sorry, Ian. I didn't mean to do that earlyer."

"Ok." He says. I know him well enough to figure out that he is not ok. He sounded much too sad to be ok. I pinch him, "Ow! What was that for!" He yells. He never yells.

"You lied to me. You do not think it's ok and I need to know why." I say in my best assertive voice.

"I'm sorry, ok?" He says with an edge to his voice, "I'm just kind of mad you didn't tell me you were gay. I mean, we tell eachother everything, yet you still-"

"I'm not gay, Ian. That's why I wanted to say sorry. I didn't want you to get the wrong idea." I put my hand on his shoulder.

"Oh." He sounds disappointed. Did I hurt his feelings? I did, didn't I. It's cause I cut him off, he hates it when I do that. Damn it, why am I so stupid?

"I'm sorry for cutting you off, Ian. I shouldn't have done that." I say. I really need to work on that.

"That's not why I'm mad, Nick." Ian grumbles under his breath. What am I missing?

"Then why are you mad? I don't understand what else I-"

"You fucking kissed me when I really like you and then you ran away and broke my heart and you think that saying sorry is going to make it all better but it isn't! It just isn't Nick!" He yells. Wow. I did not expect that. He likes me? I am so fucking clueless! Why am I so stupid? Who knows...

"I am so sorry, Ian. I really am just-"

"Stop fucking apologizing! I'm done!" He says with a hurt expression as he runs out of the room and into the hall. I know him well enough to know that he is most definently going outside. Where it has just started raining. Fuck.

I stand and run after him, making my way down the stairs before bumping into Beatrice who gives me a dirty look and continues going up the stairs. I never liked that winy little bitch...

I run out the front door and into the rain. It is poring now, fairly hard for The Clouds this time of year. Although it hasn't rained in a wile so I guess the water fairies have gotten busy. I see Ian running, more like trying not to fall over with his clumsey-as-fuck self. I love that about him. I think it's really cute how clumsey he is...

I finally catch up to him just as he falls. I manage to catch him but fall too in the process. He lands on top of me, I made sure of that so I didn't crush his fragile body. Our faces are inches from eachother and we just stare with wide eyes.

I can't help it. I really can't. Why I do this, I have no idea. But I did it. I did. No going back now.

I kissed him. I liked it too.

I don't understand. Why do I like this? I don't care right now. All I care about is the fact that I like him as more than a friend. So here we are.

Kissing in the rain.