The Return To Love

Chapter Ten

      Sanem walked to the sofa and sat down. She would tell it all.. she had too.. Her guilt about it was to much to bear.. But none of the things she had done had made her forget about Can...none....

       " The very first time was about six months after I arrived in Puerto Baquerizo Moreno." She began, as she sat stiffly on the sofa. " I was taking a day cruise to one of the small islands close by,...it was a tourist thing... with a few people from America." She explained, still refusing to look at Can

       Sanem cleared her throat, hesitating for a second before continuing. " I had planned to go on the cruise, because I hadn't been to that island yet. But.... The night before I talked to CeyCey and he said he hadn't heard from you in a while.... so that had been almost a year that you had been gone... I was so upset, so worried..... and so angry at you." She whispered, finally looking into his eyes......

      Can was beginning to see where this conversation was leading.. Sanem had more than one lover, more than one man that had been intimate with her.  

      Some of these details were hard for her to talk about, but she needed for him to know, " So after my conversation with CeyCey, I fell apart, just like I did so many other times after talking to anyone back in Istanbul." She said with regret..

      " So I went on that day cruise the next day just to get my mind off of you... And that's were I met Trey. He was an ecologist scientist. He was only in the Islands for three days, and one of those days was on that cruise." She told him, taking a deep breath...before going on.

     " After the cruise, he came back to my small apartment with me, we only had one evening together, maybe three hours, and then he left... But I cried for two days afterwards. I felt as if I had cheated on you. I was so ashamed of myself. It was a stupid mistake and one I wish I hadn't made, but I was so full of hurt and loneliness. I had always thought you would be the man to... I wanted you to be the first." She muttered, her voice full of sadness..

     Sanem turned to look at him, to see if she could tell what he was thinking. He was sitting in the chair with his head down, she wasn't sure if he was angry or disappointed... 

      " Can, aren't you going to say anything? I know you must think I'm horrible,...to take a man home with me after just meeting him.. I think I'm  horrible. It was so out of character for me, but nothing in my life was what I thought it would be at that time." She explained..

      Can looked up, his eyes rimmed with tears, " I did the same thing Sanem. It was barely three months that I had been gone when I found myself  with a woman I had just met...but all I could see was your face.... So I know exactly how you felt..."  He said, his heart racked with pain..

      " What have we done to each other?  Every woman I knew or was with I compared to you.. I think I did it without even knowing it. There was never anyone that possessed me like you did...like you still do.." He confessed shamefully and willingly.

      A tiny smile eased across her face, " So I possess you... that's good to know. Do you think we can start over from here.  I want to start over, I want to get this right.." She mumbled, as she slowly walked toward him.

      Can stood, meeting her in the middle of the room. " I don't want to start over...I want to pick up where we left off. I want that same person you were then. What happened to us while we were apart was nothing more than survival..... and living our lives. Even after doing all those things to try forget each other and we didn't..... Then we never will Sanem." He spoke, caressing her shoulders.

      She laid her head on his chest. " I tried to forget you... I told myself that I wanted to find someone else. But it was all a lie." She told him. 

      Sanem was hiding one last piece of her life from him, but she would have to tell him about it sooner or later. She would have to tell him just how hard she tried to forget him...

      "I found any excuse I could to check up on you,...find out what you were doing.." She continued, her voice was soft and low, sending a chill through his body.

      " I asked about you every time I called home. But after a couple of years, CeyCey stopped telling me anything. He told me not to punish myself.... move on....just like you had. That crushed me..I thought he was holding back something from me." She said.

      Sanem stepped back to look Can in the face. " Did you tell CeyCey to stop giving me information.. I know you and CeyCey kept in contact, so did you tell him not to tell me anything?" She asked, searching his face for an answer.

      Can winced, " No... I never told him anything like that. In fact he told me the same thing. I called him after a while... just to ask about you. At first he would tell me all about what you were doing.... How you were doing. After you went to Galápagos Islands CeyCey changed. He was vague when I asked about you... then he told me you were staying in San Cristobal, not coming home.. That's when he told me I should stop asking about you....that you were making a new life for yourself.....and we didn't talk much after that." Can breathed heavily, relieved for it all to come out.

      Sanem felt exhausted, as she held on to Can. This could be the beginning of the rest of their lives together.... " Poor CeyCey. I think this whole thing affected him more than either of us knew... We can't blame him for what happened." She said, regretting her conversation with her friend the night before.

       Javier had been busy making  plans for his trip to Istanbul.  The sooner he arrived in Istanbul, the sooner he could convince Sanem to return to Barcelona with him. 

      He was in the phone with the Skalion Hotel when his assistant came in. He raised his hand, signaling for her to wait a minute as he finished his reservation. " Okay, perfect. yes a room with a view of the sea would be great. And it is close to Ms.Aydin's room, correct?" He asked, a smile spreading across his face. " Perfect...thank you." He replied, speaking almost flawless Turkish.

      Marcela was surprised at how well he spoke their language. " Javier, I have both contracts ready for Ms. Aydin to sign when you get to Istanbul.... And here is the invitation from Leakeys Book store in Scotland. I thought she might like to see it...since it's so beautifully done." She replied. "And, I had no idea you were so well versed in the Turkish language... it sounded wonderful." She added..

      Javier nodded, " Thank you...I made it a point to learn her language right after she signed with us....Nothing wrong with knowing everything you can about a client." He said with a wink.

      " No, not at all." Marcela answered.  But she knew that Sanem Aydin was much more than just a client to Javier Ruiz Soto...

      Javier placed everything into his briefcase, " Thanks Marcela. I will leave on the early flight to Istanbul tomorrow. I want to surprise her and maybe take her out for a late lunch. If it all goes well....we will be on our way back to Barcelona the next day." He smiled full of confidence..

       Marcela nodded, " Right. But she will have to make a decision about the booking signing, the one in Inverness is coming up shortly. It is a week celebration of International Women in Business, and they want Ms. Aydin as the featured participant.." She explained, hoping that he would keep his visit to Istanbul about business and not personal.

      Javier agreed, " She will be there." He assured his assistant with a smug smile.

" I'm not sure what or whom is keeping Sanem in Istanbul,....but I am going to find out.. If it's the person that hurt her and caused her to leave Istanbul,...Then he doesn't deserve her.."  He thought.

      Sanem had been very quiet about her life before she came to Galápagos Islands. But that one night, after a very successful book signing in Madrid and a quiet celebration with an expensive bottle of wine, she let a little of what happened in her life slip out....

      Javier was more than willing to soothe her that night.... He wanted to take all her hurt away... And he tried. But the next morning, she was quick to dismiss him and his show of affection by telling him that what had happened had been a big mistake..

       He knew that Sanem wanted to be nothing more than friends.....But he wanted more....he needed more...