miss coffee - chaesoo

8

~ pov ~

Roseanne toyed with nothing around her ring finger, spinning the non-existent ring that just felt so awkward.

She had never felt so confused since she was dumped at the pier in Paris— but that was only her trauma to joke about, anyone else who brought it up only made her feel horrible about it.

Whatever she had done to Jisoo brought back the same feelings that were introduced then, the same day she felt as though she had fucked everything up. Tutting, the blonde shifted in her bed, catching sight of the clock sitting on her bedside table.

It was currently five am and Roseanne wasn't able to sleep at all. There was just a hidden guilt that pulsed in her heart that she couldn't quite put her finger on. Knowing it had something to do with the party and Jisoo, she questioned everyone who went but they all were in the same state as the blonde and couldn't remember anything.

The only one carrying the burden of this information was Jisoo and her not telling anyone (especially the person involved) was seriously eating the blonde up.

The loud echo of crying forced her out of her own deep thoughts. She felt her sister shuffle next to her, and Roseanne couldn't even remember when she had climbed into the bed. Blinking cluelessly, she merely tapped her sister's back.

"I have it," Roseanne whispered, watching as her sister got comfortable in the blonde's sheets. She stretched a little, feeling the tiredness run through her blood— she sighed, how much coffee would she have to drink to get her through the day?

It wasn't long until she got up and made her way to the nursery in her house, opening the door to reveal her squealing nephew, clearly hungry.

And just like that, Roseanne's thoughts had vanished. For Jisoo, her boyfriend and friends brought her ease but for Roseanne, it was the bundle of joy she was currently picking up that brought her great comfort.

After all, it wasn't that long ago when she had her own— but that trauma was something Roseanne never joked about. She kissed his chubby cheeks, listening as he immediately calmed down in his aunt's arms.

"Are you hungry?" She asked, listening to him babble. Again, Roseanne couldn't reiterate the warmth the baby made her feel and she grabbed his bottle and the two headed downstairs.

She had always wanted children, much like Jisoo. But she currently didn't have a boyfriend of many years who she could discuss that with, she just had herself and her sister who kindly gave her the best gift she could have ever asked for.

Raising a child had been one of her aspirations. And Roseanne had felt that previously, but it only lasted a short while— it was then and there that she decided that her life and living in the moment could wait. She needed to settle down and restart.

But that's a story for another time.

Roseanne filled her nephew's bottle with warm milk, still holding him against her as he settled down and reached out for the bottle. She shook it momentarily, taking the baby towards the living room where she would make herself comfortable on the couch and proceed to think.

An activity Roseanne found herself doing a lot lately. She just tried her best to remember the events that occurred at the party and what she had done to make someone so calm and collected slap her like that. Pouting, she rubbed her cheek as the stinging came back.

It made her sober for a split second and everything that happened after she was able to make out. The only thing that confused her was the tingling of both her lips and heart.

Shrugging, she guessed it was best she didn't know. It was easier that way and she could always apologise sincerely another time when Jisoo was alright— she assumed that there must be a reason for the brunette to not tell her, it must have been something humiliating.

She decided to not overthink it purely for her own benefit, knowing today she would go to work and wonder why Seulgi's significant other would open the beautiful shop in front of hers and cater for it all day with no signs of Jisoo for over a week.

Looking down, she smiled at the baby slowly falling back into slumber as the warm milk ran through her tiny body, clothes too big for his body.

It didn't take long for him to finish his bottle and for Roseanne to cuddle up with him on the couch, his body resting up against her chest and her eyes scanning over her phone and the few messages she was attempting to send Jisoo.

She typed for a few seconds before deciding that she shouldn't cross boundaries. Then she realised if no one was getting responses from the brunette, surely it was on her shoulders to make sure she was okay. But Jisoo has a boyfriend who should do that, then again, they could be in the middle of a fight.

Roseanne groaned. Going back and forth was giving her a headache.

"What are you contemplating?" Roseanne's sister, Park Sooyoung asked as she entered the room. Yes, this was the same woman who had caught Wendy's eye and the same woman who was acquaintances with Seulgi's wife, Irene.

Joy— the nickname derived from her previous relationship, the one resulting in the beautiful baby boy sleeping in Roseanne's arms.

"Nothing," Replied the blonde, turning off her phone and placing it on the coffee table. "How come you are awake? It's still pretty early."

"I could feel your stress from upstairs," Sooyoung joked, watching as her sister rolled her eyes and sat up with the baby. She could tell something was wrong from the evident lack of sleep under her sister's eyes. "Is everything okay? You know you can talk to me."

Roseanne nodded her head with a feigned smile, one of her sisters knew of well— it was the same smile shown to her on the day she was left, the same day she lost her world and the same day she had to leave her life behind.

"It's okay, I need to get up for work anyway." Roseanne laughed, holding out the baby.
"You should both go back to sleep."

"Alright," said Sooyoung, holding her child. She bounced him a couple of times, her worried eyes watching as the blonde pushed herself off of the couch and out of the living room. "Will you be okay?"

Roseanne turned around, confused.

She wasn't sure what was even going on.

But she didn't feel okay.