miss coffee - chaesoo

22

So as soon as she landed after one of the toughest weeks of her life, you best believe Roseanne found herself at Jisoo's doorstep.

Her suitcase was in her hand, her other balled into a clammy fist, building up the courage to knock on the woman's apartment door.

There was something radiant about Suzy that Roseanne envied. It was as though she could find herself again after the accident. She was just... normal. And Roseanne had been chasing a forced dream and living a life of regret when she, too, should have moved on.

So she knocked— she knocked to let Jisoo know that she was done forcing herself not to have feelings and whilst she couldn't technically pressure Jisoo into a relationship with her, she wanted the brunette to know that despite her thinking, Roseanne was always going to have these feelings.

The door opened and it revealed a shocked Jisoo, brows furrowed as she wondered why the blonde was there.

"Oh, Rosie."

"Can I come in?" She asked a little timidly.

Jisoo didn't know what to do. "Bohyun isn't home..." She muttered, closing the door a little before Roseanne could step in, assuming it was an invitation. "I'd rather he be home."

Roseanne didn't say anything, letting herself sink into her broken heart. "Listen, Jisoo—" She stiffened for a moment, taking a deep breath as she finally let herself go. "I like you. And I mean really like you— in fact, I love you. I know it hasn't been long since we met and we just got off to a super confusing start but you and I both know that there was something there."

Jisoo frowned. She hated feeling this way.

"You told me it was just sex."

"I was angry. I was upset. I thought that what I felt for you was reciprocated and I was so blind to what you would've been going through. For that, I'm sorry. But I can't keep pretending like we are just friends because every time I see you kiss Bohyun, I get so angry with myself."

Jisoo looked down. Again, feeling this way was awful.

"It should be me," Roseanne finally said. "You and I both know you don't love him. It should be me."

Jisoo sniffled. "I do love him, Rosie. I love him. Maybe not in the way I, apparently, love you, but he's the father of my child. He's offering me everything I could ever want for my child and I can't be selfish anymore. It isn't just me you have to deal with, it's my baby."

"And I can deal with it!" She finally exclaimed, her emotions getting too big for her. "I will take anything you give me, Jisoo." Roseanne watched as Dalgom curled around her leg, looking back into the brunette's eyes that were glistening. "Don't you understand, that I just want to be with you? Husband or not. Child or not. I want to call you mine the same way you want to."

Jisoo was about to speak— "Please, don't bullshit me with loving him. Be honest with yourself, is it me or him?"

And that's when Jisoo broke.

She had been putting off this question for so long and it was suddenly asked. It shattered her and she couldn't do anything but slam the front door shut, slide down it and cry.

Roseanne stood there dumbfounded.

Did Jisoo not choose her?

Was Jisoo seriously in love with him?

What she had failed to see was the distraught man standing behind her, a floppy bouquet in his hand, representing the heart that had just been shattered.

His heart.

Bohyun finally had the courage to enter Jisoo's bedroom after he had been avoiding the brunette all day to comfort himself after what he heard at the door.

At first, he wanted it to be a sick joke. Something he misunderstood and his soon-to-be-wife hadn't slept with the woman he was told not to worry about— the woman he begged to stay away.

But concluding that, that wasn't the case, he could only spend his day not wanting to face reality and a little longer time with the woman he devoted everything to.

Jisoo was curled up in her bed, her back facing the door. Bohyun could tell she wasn't sleeping— that was it, Bohyun could tell you anything about Jisoo. He knew everything. So why did she pick her?

"Are you alright?" He mustered up the courage to ask, afraid to even sit on the bed, afraid that Jisoo would tell him the truth, afraid she would lie.

Jisoo just hummed.

"Did anything happen today?" He asked. His voice was a little shaky but Jisoo shaking her head made him feel both better and worse. "Are you sure?"

"Bohyun," Jisoo said, a little sternly. "Nothing happened, okay? I am just feeling a little... overwhelmed and want to rest."

"Okay." He didn't say anything more. He didn't say anything less. What he did do, though, was grab his coat, his wallet and his car keys.

He left that night, breaking down completely.

It wasn't until around 2 am that he returned, assuming that his pregnant fiancé was asleep and too exhausted to bother with his whereabouts.

He didn't get a single message, phone call or even a voicemail from Jisoo and that was when it started to feel real— he was the second choice. He had spent years of his life loving this woman just to be the second choice.

So he was a little startled to see her awake and sitting on the couch, Dalgom asleep beside her. She looked like she had been in deep thought and Bohyun cleared his throat to make himself known.

"Oh... you're back," She muttered, looking down at her clammy palms. "Can we talk?"

Bohyun could feel his heart beating through his chest and he couldn't say a word, quickly took his shoes off and took a seat on the single couch beside the coffee table, afraid to be close to Jisoo right now.

"You should've gone to bed—"

"—I can't sleep."

There was an awkward silence falling over the two and that's when it hit them both. They had never been awkward, they had never been in a phase where they couldn't sit near each other and not find words to say.

"Oh, god," Bohyun said, laughing a little. "It's not me, is it?" Jisoo looked up. "It's her. It's always been her."

And Jisoo couldn't deny that she was a little startled. "Wait— you know?" She asked, feeling the burden of admitting to an affair lift off of her shoulders. She knew it didn't make the guilt easier but admitting it was something she dreaded.

Bohyun looked down and nodded. "To be honest, I had a small feeling ever since the birthday party. But I brushed it off because you promised me that there was nothing there. I don't know the details— I don't want to know the details... I want it to feel like you at least loved me till the very end."

Jisoo was teary.

Bohyun was teary.

"I'm not going to leave, Jisoo. This is your life and you can choose to be with whoever you want to, but the affair was your choice. I'm not going to just be okay with it, but I want to be there for my child."

Jisoo nodded. "That was never my intention. I don't have any excuses for why I did what I did, but it was just so hard to tell you. It was hard to tell my friends and it was so hard to accept that it wasn't you."

"I understand."

They finally looked at each other in the eye, tears streaming down each of their faces knowing that this was the end of them. This was the end of the years they built together, years they lived together, years they yearned together.

"I'm so sorry."