Cyber Love

Chapter 16

Luckily, we really practiced ‘Brand new day’.

‘That’s it for today, folks,’ Mrs Kingston announces. ‘This was a really good session. I’ll see you all on Monday apart from Jean and Darin, whom I will see tomorrow.’

Everyone gradually leaves the assembly hall.

And I realise that the choir session went by without anything special happening.

Obviously, he hasn’t read my email yet.

It is five pas three now and I am sitting on the floor in my bedroom with Vicky.

‘And, how was choir today? How was it with Darin?’

‘Don’t always expect something exciting to happen because nothing happened. It was just a choir session as usual.’ I answer trying to bring her down.

But she continues asking,’ But what about your email? Didn’t he say anything?’

‘He hasn’t read it yet, Vicky. He hasn’t answered and he didn’t mention anything today. And that’s it.’ I tell her.

‘Oh’ is what I get as a respond.

After a few minutes of silence Vicky suddenly says,’ you have to write him another email telling him that you love him.’

‘What?’ What is going on in her brain? Sometimes I can’t quite keep up with her.

‘Guys are a bit stupid sometimes. He probably didn’t understand that you’re actually asking him out because you are in love.’

Maybe she is right. I mean it would make sense.

‘Okay then. But you have to help me because I really don’t want to mess this up.’ That was probably just the answer Vicky was hoping for because he grabs my laptop excitedly already thinking about what to write in the email.

And ‘send’. I can’t change anything anymore. I just wrote Darin an email saying that I love him.

So today is Friday and I’m even more near dying now that I was yesterday as Darin must have read my email by now and even worse: He must have read my second one as well.

The day passed faster than I hoped.

And now I am sitting in the assembly hall again. But this time I am alone with Darin and Mrs Kingston of course but really I’m alone with Darin.

Of course we have to practice our duet ‘You’re the one that I want’  which is okay for me now because we have actually practiced it a lot already and therefore I don’t feel as uncomfortable anymore as I felt at the beginning.

But we have to practice both our soli as well because we are singing about each other (in the musical) and Mrs Kingston explained how practicing in front of each other will help us to feel what we’re singing. Surely, as it wasn’t embarrassing at all!

Finally, Mrs Kingston closes today’s session.

She leaves.

While passing me, Darin whispered in my ear ‘I have to talk to you for a minute.’

He leaves and seems to expect me to follow him. So I do.

We stand in the hallway waiting till we are alone.

Finally, everyone left the hallway.

I am standing with my back against the wall. Darin who is standing in front of me starts talking,’ See, Jean’ He says me name very softly and touches my cheek gently with his fingers.

I can feel this prickling feeling in my stomach again.

‘Jean, I read your email last night,’ Darin continues.

Oh my god. Oh my god! Suddenly I’m feeling even more uncomfortable as I felt before. I just want to leave but cannot because Darin is standing in front of my and the wall is behind me. I feel captured.

‘And I thought I should talk to you in person. Yeah, Jean, you’re very cute and things and I love writing with you. Really! But Jean, I don’t love you.’

He makes a step towards me but I can’t keep the distance to him with which I would feel comfortable. No, I press myself against the wall. Darin is still so close to me that I can feel his breath on my face.

He keeps on talking,’ No, don’t look at me like that. Don’t be so sad. I didn’t want to hurt you. I just wanted to be honest.’

He grabs me by my shoulders looking deep into my eyes.

What?

I want to cry. I want to escape. I want to run.

I can’t stand his look and I look down. Against my will I start to sob. My shoulders are shaking now and I can feel my cheeks getting hot.

I can feel a tear running down my left cheek.

Darin takes my chin and holds it up so I have to look him they the eye.

It is horrible!

Inside I’m screaming ‘Let me go! Leave me alone!’ But my lips are shut.

‘Well, I thought it would be the best to tell you the truth. I have to go now. See you.’ And he walks off.

How can he?

I’m sliding down the wall till I’m sitting on the floor.

I feel unable to move and I just stay there crying till footsteps are coming down the hallway stopping in front of me.

Someone grabs my hands to help me up.