Liar's Desire ✔️

7| Memories

Tristans POV 

I was pathetic, useless, and horrible. 

After I met Carlos, I couldn't stop thinking about what had happened. I think it made me realize how badly I had hurt him and that it was all my fault. 

Not Tiffany's, not Brooke's, not Hinata's, it was all my fault. 

Ever since Carlos moved schools, our little group hadn't talked much. Tiffany would occasionally send funny cat memes in the group chat but I don't think anyone seemed to care much about them, though they were pretty funny. 

It was winter break. Usually, my family would go to a ski resort or travel to another country but this year, I told them I wanted to stay home. 

I just laid down on my bed and stared at the ceiling. I was a malicious human being. Of course Carlos would never forgive me, why did I even try apologizing? 

I was stupid.

I was pathetic. 

I was obnoxious. 

My mother walked into my room with a concerned look on her face. Which was understandable because my behavior was pretty concerning. Usually, I'd be out with Tiffany or Hinata but I just spent my days regretting my actions towards Carlos. After all, I was the reason for the burn marks on his arms. 

"Tristan, are you going to eat dinner with us?" my mother asked. 

"I'm not hungry," I responded. 

"You haven't eaten anything for the last three days, you need to eat something," my mother said in an angry but light tone. 

I groaned as I got out of bed. I wrinkled my nose at the horrible stench coming from myself, I smelled HORRID. 

"Damn, I gotta shower," I said as I headed towards the restroom. 

I looked at myself in the mirror. Maybe I deserved to just rot. Maybe I deserved to just waste away. 

Maybe it was because I hadn't eaten and the fact that I wasn't taking care of myself but the mirror talked back to me. 

"How could you even look at yourself? Look at me!?" It said to me in a disappointed tone, "Go back to wasting away." 

Maybe it was right. Maybe I belonged under dirt since I was already a dirty horrible piece of whatever I was. 

"I don't hear the water running!" my mother yelled. 

"I'm sorry," I said to the mirror, "I can't go back to wasting away." 

"But you deserve it," it responded, "Carlos seemed so happy to see you suffer, you should suffer!" 

I couldn't take it anymore. I punched the mirror and watched my blood seep into the cracks. 

A dagger of glass was shaking in my hand. I bit my lip as tears streamed down my face. 

"I. Don't. Hear. The. Water. Running." my mother yelled. 

I threw the piece of glass on the floor and took a shower.