Montergo Series I: Dancing With Fire

Chapter 26

Chapter 26

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"Xochi." Her soft voice made me feel like crying more.

I wiped my tears, agad kong kinuha ang mga sulat at litrato na nagkalat sa kama, nagmamadali ko itong pinasok sa kahon saka itinago sa baba ng kama.

"Y-Yes, Manang Hera?" I yelled while stuttering as I quickly looked at myself in the dressing table's mirror.

Magang-maga at namumula ang mata ko, ngunit 'di ko na ito pinansin pa at naglalakad patungo sa pinto, pagbukas ko ay bumungad si Manang Hera na may hawak-hawak na tray.

"Hij- Ohh! Okay ka lang ba? Bakit namumula yang mata mo? Umiyak ka ba?" Manang Hera asked as she wiped my wet eyes.

I just gave her a faint smile and looked away.

"Of course I'm okay, Manang Hera. Naiyak lang ako sa movie na napanood ko." I answered and wiped the tears that were in my eyes.

She looked at me, figuring if it was true. I smiled at her and took the tray in her hands.

"Thank you, Manang," I said and kissed her cheeks before closing the door. I didn't wait for her answer. I'm trying my best not to cry in front of her.

I sighed and walked towards my bed. As I sat on my bed, I stared at the food on the tray. A small bowl of sinigang na baboy and pakbet with a small portion of rice. I don't have an appetite to eat anything, wala rito ang isipan ko kundi roon sa mga letters and photos na nakita ko.

I still can't believe it, I keep processing it and making it sink into me, but I just can't... or maybe I don't wanna sink it in.

Kahit anong gawin ko I just can't erase it or forget about it easily, it's about my life. Kung sino ba talaga ako at ano ang buong pangalan ng totoo kong ama at bakit... why did they hide my real identity? Why did mom live and marry my dad's brother?! I have so many questions, what ifs and maybes that are messing my mind right now.

This is driving me crazy! I never expected that my life would be this fucked up!

I laughed frustratedly as I ran my fingers through my hair. Ipinatong ko ang tray sa bedside table at saka tumayo, I continued reading the letters and looking at the photos one by one. I didn't even notice that it was already two in the afternoon, how time flies by.

I stretched my arms, I looked at the arranged letters and photos in the box. Wala, wala akong nahanap na sagot sa mga katanungan ko. The letters were mostly the old letters that my real Dad and my mom exchanged. Yung iba naman ay mga letters ni Mom for me and for... Gustavo.

I still can't understand it. My mom is married to my dad, but after he died, he married my uncle. I don't know what to say. There's a raging flame that is wrapped in my heart right nowHindidi ko na alam ang gagawin.

I wiped my snotI stood up and sat at my dressing table at my red dressing table, I looked at myself in the mirror, my eyes were so red I cried hard.

I took my makeup from my bag and covered it using a foundation. Medyo hindi na ito kita kaya nagsimula na akong maglakad pababa dala-dala ang tray na hindi ko man lang ginalaw.

When I got down, I saw Tita Claudette and Dad- I mean Uncle Gustavo, I'm still not used to it. Nevertheless, Scarlett and Kuya Livan were all there. They were happily talking in the dining room, and their laughter echoed throughout the room. It made me even feel more like an outsider trying to fit in their family.

I shook my head lightly and continued walking towards the kitchen. They stop laughing, I think naramdaman nila ang pagdaan ko. I might've caught their attention because of my hair, ako lang naman nag-iisang blonde ang buhok dito kaya sigurado akong alam nila na ako ang dumaan.