Good luck today, Madison. School sucks, I know. So does moving. Moving is a pain in the ass, especially the kind where you're just moving the lump of clothes and books that fill up the interchangeable spaces that become your bedroom. At least when there's furniture involved, the work feels worth it. I wish you courage and relief in the New Year, which seems to be coming for us all.
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I went on a date the other day. First time in a year and a half. It went really well. I had fun and so did she. We're going on another one on Thursday. That will probably be our last. I'm not really feeling it. I feel bad for not feeling it. She's extraordinarily nice and cool. More on that later.
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Things that I can't explain but must write down quickly so as not to forget them:
-The limits of maps in video games
(I do these word association things a lot. I'm sure they'll be useful to me later.)
-Mark Carney, the Liberal Party of Canada, economics, St. Francis Xavier High School, Edmonton, soccer, the upper-middle-class, Smash Bros., the University of Alberta, the cultural influence of the city of Edmonton despite its the relative geographic isolation, Somalia, Lebanon, Punjab, Egypt, Madagascar, France, Great Britain, the highways, the mountains, the snow, the winter, the look of car exhaust on the ocean floor of a January night, the Prairie and the ocean, my obsession with voids and infinity and scale, SSRI medication, malls, records and books, military dads, law school, Afghanistan, having killed someone, alcoholism, masturbating in the woods during a summertime window-cleaning job, the sounds and smells of rec center pools at the height of Canadian June, driving around aimlessly, oil refineries, homeless people, Cree and Blackfoot, the Hell's Angels, your girlfriend coming out as a transman, housesitting, a undergrad essay about the writings of Martin Heidegger, the work of Bill Viola, the implications that game theory has on jazz improvisation, Mark Normand, Daryl Katz, Mac DeMarco, the King of Karaoke, trainhopping, the Church of Latter Day Saints, the Edmonton Oilers, marijuana, JRPGs, foster care, the Internet, VR Chat, CKUA, wanting to be elsewhere, boots by the front door, still loving rock and roll, loneliness, a generation of weak-willed children, the medical-industrial complex, COVID-19, Kill Tony, having fun in Toronto, the Northwest Passage.
-This feels pompous to say, but I feel like I know Alberta's secrets.
- "I do remember thinking [...] that to be a writer was the best thing a person could be. It seemed to promise maximum alertness to life. It seemed holy to me, and almost religious."
