Anxiety is Nick's worst enemy

chapter 3

~ Nick's POV ~

Charlie opens the door and sees me crying and i know i have to talk to him now. I really don't want to, i don't want to be a burden and i hope Charlie doesn't leave me. I can't live without him. 

Charlie immediately walks over to my bed, "Nick baby, please talk to me." He hugs me while i sit up. Why is saying your felings out loud so fucking scary and hard. "Its just- i feel- why- just" i can't even get a sentence out of my mouth. "take a few deep breaths love" Charlie puts a reassuring hand on my thigh.

He takes a deep breath and wants me to follow him, so i do. We take a few deep breaths together and now i feel a bit more ready, so i try again. "i'm just- having a lot of anxiety and it's- it's getting worse and i really don't know how to deal with it and- and it's just too fucking much."

Charlie gives me another hug "baby why didn't you tell me, i want to help you." I love that he wants to help me but he has his own things to worry about. "i don't want to bother you Char." "you're not, you're never"

My eyes tear up thinking about my insecure thoughts and i start spiralling out loud "but- but what if you don't love me after this? and you- you want to leave me. Be-because you think i'm a burden, and if-" Charlie cuts me off "darling stop please" he kisses me, i love his kisses, they're calming me a bit. 

"dont believe those thoughts please, i can tell you from the bottom of my heart that i will always love you no matter what! I love you at your best and i love you at your worst, just like you do with me, i never want to leave you because i can't live without you and you are NEVER a burden to me, i love you"

I sigh in relief, he has no idea how much this reassurance means to me. My anxious thoughts immediately calm down, "t-thank you" i breath out. 

"you can always talk to me Nick, i know i can't take everything away from you but just telling someone and not putting everything on yourself can help a bit already."

Gosh i love Charlie so much, he's such an amazing boyfriend and person, i wish he saw that too.

I can feel my anxiety already rising again, knowing i have school tomorrow, i need all the Charlie cuddles i can get. "can you sleep here tonight? i need you" i ask with a sad face. And to my surprise Charlie smirks "i was already planning on it baby"

All those nicknames, i can't. It makes my heart glow. 

Charlie cuddles up next to me and gives me another kiss. And then we both fall asleep, i love Charlie so much. 

~ Charlie's POV ~

My alarm goes off and i wake up next to my beautiful boyfriend who is sleeping so peacefully, i don't want to wake him but i unfortunaly have too. "Nick we need to wake up" i say while placing a kiss on his forehead. Nick turns around and lets out a tired "mmm."

"do you want to go to school today or no?" i don't want to push him, he needs to listen to his body and do what's best for him. "i'll try." it's doesn't sound so convincing but i just let it be, "okay."

After getting a very tired Nick out of bed we both get ready and walk to school together. We have form together so i can see my boyfriend just a little bit longer. "please tell me if you need anything babe" Nick already looks somewhat absent but i don't want to ask him if he's okay every 5 minutes, i'll try and talk to him at lunch. "thank you i will" Nick smiles at me and i can feel myself blushing. 

After form we both go our seperate ways,. After three hours of hell, also called Maths and Science, it's finally time for lunch. I hope Nick is still doing okay. 

When i walk to our usual spot, Nick isn't anywhere to be found. I'm confused and also a bit worried. I decide to text him, maybe he's just wtih the teacher or something. 

                                              'Nick❤'

12:38pm: Nick baby where are you?

i feel my anxiety rising waiting for a response, that i don't get. I'm worried, Nick where are you?! My worry take over and i text him again: 

                                               'Nick❤'

12:38pm: Nick where are you?
12:41pm: honey are you okay?

A few minutes go by with still no response from Nick, this is not like him at all. I decide to call him, but he doesn't pick up the phone either. I call again, still no response. I call a third time but i still don't get an answer. Okay now i'm really really worried. What if something happened? 

Should i text again? what should i do? i really dont know what to do. 

                                              'Nick❤'

12:38pm: Nick where are you?
12:41pm: honey are you okay?
12:46pm: *3 missed calls from 'Char❤' 
12:51pm: please let me know where you are and if you're okay

Still no response. This is not good.