Anxiety is Nick's worst enemy

chapter 4

~Nick's POV ~

After form i go to my next lesson which is Spanish, i hate it. Don't get me wrong i love the language and i would love to be able to speak it, but it's so difficult. I can never focus in Spanish and it's just way too hard. 

I'm partly absent and partly following the lesson but i'm not getting any work done. My hands are shaking and my heart is pounding like crazy. I'm trying so hard to ignore my anxiety, hoping it'll just go away. I know that never works, but i still hope ignoring it works everytime. 

When Spanish is finally done i have to go to Maths, straight up horrible. 1 hour until lunch, just 1. more. hour. Nick. 

I walk into the lesson, trying not to zone out and follow at least a little bit from what's she's saying. She's explaining way to difficult terms and then she starts talking about deadlines and a test, well that's helping my anxiety calm down. Not. 

My ears start ringing and her words are not words anymore. I can't make up anything that the teacher is saying. I'm so anxious and stressed it's absolutely insane and the fact i can't understand words my teacher is saying, is freaking me out even more. 

My chest tightens, my heart is beating out of my chest and i can feel tears forming in my eyes. That's it, i need to leave this classroom right now.

i grab my bag and speed walk out of the classroom. I know the music rooms are empty right now so i go to the nearest music room. 

I go inside and immediately collapse to the ground because my knees give out. 

It's lunch time now, i was supposed to meet Charlie but i'm not in a good state to walk out of this room right now. My phone is constantly receiving notifications but i don't have the energy to look who it is or what's going on. 

I'm hyperventilating, my chest feels so tight, i feel like i'm suffocating, i'm balling my eyes out, my ears are still ringing and my whole body is shaking. This is bad, i need help, i can't calm myself down. 

It's just getting worse and worse by the second. 

~ Charlie's POV ~

There's still no response, something is really wrong. My heart is racing and i'm shaking, i'm so anxious. I decide to go look for Mr. Ajayi hoping he can help me find Nick. Mr. Ajayi is like the only safe person besides Nick. 

I walk into his art room "hi Charlie are you okay?" My voice is trembling and my heart is pounding out of my chest but i try to talk "n-n-no n-nick i-i... he... i don't know w-where he i-is" i manage to say between breaths as they become quicker and quicker. I'm trying so hard not to go into a full blown panic attack right now. 

"Charlie take a few deep breaths with me, it's okay" he does a breathing exercise with me and i calm down a bit, but i won't calm down fully until we found Nick. My breaths are more calm now though "that's better Charlie, now what's going on?"

"Nick has been having a lot of anxiety lately and it's getting too much but he wanted to try and go to school today anyways, but i don't know where he is know and he's not answering my texts and calls and i'm really worried something is wrong or something happened to him." i rattle.

"ohh i'm sure it will be okay Charlie, we will look for him together okay?" Mr. Ajayi says in the most calm way ever, like why is he so calm?! i say a grateful "thank you" and then we start looking.

We looked almost everywhere and Nick is nowhere to be found. The last place we need to look is the music block and the rooms there, but i'm not getting my hopes up. 

When we walk into a music room, Nick is sitting curled un in the corner, i'm so glad i found him, but i know he's definitly not okay at all. I run to him and kneel down in front of him.