Anxiety is Nick's worst enemy

chapter 2

~ Charlie's POV ~
I wake up as i hear the front door opening followed by Sarah coming up te stairs "Nicky i'm home" she said. In my raspy morning voice i tell her hi. "oh hi sweetheart how is he doing?" she asks me and i can see slight worry appearing on her face.

"he's anxious, sad and tired" i say. "poor baby" Sarah says. "i'm making dinner, it'll be ready in 30." "okay i'll wake him." i say and Sarah leaves.

I turn around and cuddle up next to Nick again, i slightly shake Nick "Nick darling you need to wake up." All i get as a response is a tired "mmm." "hi baby wake up, dinner will be ready soon" i tell him. "hmm hi cutie" he says with a smile while slowly opening his eyes.

I know Nick probably doesn't want to talk, knowing him but i just need to ask. "how are you?" i say. And as expected he answers with "i don't want to talk about it." "okay, that's okay Nick, but just now if you want to i'm here for you okay?" he nods and tells me thank you. "and please talk to your mom or someone eventually because keeping everything inside isn't good for you Nick" i tell him, hoping he is going to share his feelings and thoughts soon.

I give Nick a kiss and he wraps his arms around me. We stay there for a bit until Sarah calls up the stairs "boys dinner is ready!" Nick and i hold hands while walking down the stairs and i notice Nick's body language change. "Nick baby are you okay?" he just nods and walks into the dining room.

Something is going on with him and i really need to know what it is, knowing Nick he will keep it all inside and deal with it on his own but he really needs to talk about it, he's worrying me.

As we sit down at the table Nick looks just zoned out, after a few minutes of silence he speaks "i'm not hungry mom i'm sorry." that worries me even more because that is not something Nick would say about dinner. "i can safe you some for later, are you okay though?" Sarah says also looking worried. "mhm" is all Nick says in response.

"Nick please talk to us" i say and i can hear the worry in my own voice. "it's fine i'm okay" i know he's not. Before i can try to convince him to talk to us, Sarah speaks "baby we all know you're not fine right now, so we're here when you're ready to talk." Nick stands up and says "yeah" and walks back upstairs to his room.

"i'm worried Sarah" i tell her. "me too honey" she admits "let's give him some time and we'll try again tomorrow." i want to be here for Nick, i want to tell him everything will be okay, that he can talk to me and that i love him so much.

"is it okay if i sleep here tonight?" i ask. "ofcourse it is!" Sarah says with a smile on her face.

~ Nick's POV ~
I'm sitting here at the dining table, i can't even think about food without it making me nauseous, the last thing i want right now is eat.

"i'm not hungry mom i'm sorry." the moment i say this i see Charlie looking at me and worry wash over his face, he tries to hide it, but i know him and i know he's worried.

"i can safe you some for later, are you okay though?" my mom says also looking worried. "mhm" is all i says in response.
"Nick please talk to us" Charlie says and i can hear the worry in his voice. "it's fine i'm okay" i say just wanting to leave the room and get back in bed. "baby we all know you're not fine right now, so we're here when you're ready to talk." my mom tells me. i just stand up and say "yeah" and then i just walk back to my room and get back under the covers in bed.

I just want this day to be over, i hate anxiety, i hate this, i hate everything, i hate myself. I just want a normal life without these stupid overwhelming feelings. It's too fucking much, i can't handle it.

All these thoughts wash over me at the same time in a minute and i just start crying. I really don't know how to deal with this, i'm so done with this.

I lay there in my bed, crying and all of the sudden Charlie opens the door and sees me with tears rolling down my face. Shit now i have to tell him what's going on, but i don't want him to leave me.