Every Part Of Us

17. Burn the world down

Reid POV:

I couldn't sit in this house. My mind was spinning out. I'd learned too much, Ronan had thrown too much at me.

I'd always known that there were things I didn't know about my brother. He was like a vault most of the time and I had never pushed to get inside that. Even now I could feel those walls still keeping me out. Whatever I'd learned today was just the surface of all the things Ronan had hidden from me.

And just that surface had been enough to shake up my whole world.

I put dad behind bars.

I had so many questions but I also didn't know if I was ready to hear any of the answers. But I also knew that things between Ronan and I would never be good until I knew everything.

I couldn't ask Ronan any of it. If I went to him I'd end up in an argument so instead I left the house and went to the one other person who might have some answers.

"Come on in, I just finished making dinner." Tiffany smiled at me.

Her face was clear of those tears I'd seen earlier but her eyes were slightly red and I could still see that sadness all over her face. Knowing all that I couldn't help but feel guilty for bringing this to her. She didn't need me to dump my problems with my brother on her because she had plenty of her own.

Yet I still walked inside knowing I couldn't change my mind.

I followed her into the kitchen and sat at the kitchen island as she put me a plate together. I didn't know exactly how to ask everything I wanted to.

If Ronan was a vault, Tiffany had always been his guard. She held the key and she made sure no one, not even me got through. Part of me had thought that would change when they broke up but even now she hadn't given anything over. She had never said a bad word towards him.

Days like today I wondered why she still held that loyalty to him. Why she thought he still deserved that.

"Did you know that Ronan got my dad arrested?" I asked her.

"Yeah." She sighed.

Coming here I knew that she'd probably say yes but to hear it was something different. It was different to know that both of the most important people in my life were keeping things from me.

"You knew." I let out a soft laugh at how ridiculous this whole thing was. "You knew he did that and you still left me with him."

"I didn't leave you Reid, he's your brother and if I ever thought that Ronan wasn't the best person for you to be with I would've dragged you out of that house a long time ago."

I felt this instinct to fight come back up. I wanted to argue, I wanted to yell but I held it all back. Tiffany didn't deserve my anger. I couldn't take things out on her when it was all Ronans doing. I was angry at him not Tiffany.

"How did he do it? He said he put dad behind bars so what did he do?" I questioned needing to know more.

"Look I get you're mad but this is a conversation you should have with Ro. It's not my story and I won't break his trust."

I had known she'd say that. I knew Tiffany enough to know exactly how she felt about my brother. I'd just hoped that two years had dimmed some of that loyalty.

"It was my dad, he took the last parent I had left away from me. He made it so I had to go live with strangers. He ruined my life so I get that it's his story but it's my fucking life." I pleaded with her.

"He wasn't just your dad, he was Ronan's too. All those things that happened to you were terrible and I wish so bad I could go back and change so much for you but they didn't just happen to you. It's not just your life, it was Ro's too."

"He told me he did it for me. I didn't want this, I never wanted it. How can he say he did all this for me when I never asked him to?" Some of that anger went away.

I could feel it leaving as sadness washed over me. I had lost so much and I had loved being raised by Tiffany and Ronan. Those were the best years and I couldn't find myself regretting that. But now as I thought back I mourned that life I had. I felt sad that I had missed out on years with my dad.

Ronan had sent him away and then he'd done everything he could to keep that wall between my dad and me. He wouldn't let me visit and whenever I had asked about our dad Ronan had swiftly changed the subject.

I'd just figured it was because of the rocky relationship between the two of them but maybe Ronan had wanted to keep me away so I wouldn't find out about this.

"I can't tell you everything but I can tell you this. Ronan loves you, he would burn the whole world down to nothing if it meant you'd be safe and happy. There is no one else in his world but you. He doesn't always know the right ways to show it but if you can trust anything it is how much he cares about you." Tiffany told me, some of those tears returning to her eyes.

"He has a shitty way of showing it." I replied.

I knew I should believe the words she was telling me. Before he had broken up with Tiffany I would have never doubted those words. But so much had changed and sometimes I didn't even recognize my brother.

Maybe if I wasn't so angry. Maybe if a part of myself didn't hated Ronan for everything I'd been through I would've stopped to think. I would've let myself think about what a change like that could really mean.

A/n:

I've been having a hard time sleeping lately so writing has kinda been the last thing on my mind. It's always frustrating when I know exactly what I need to write and just like can't put the words down. I'm hoping since I have a few days off of work I'll be able to get into the rhythm again and catch up on some sleep. I really don't want to have to miss any updates so I'm going to try to sit and do some writing this weekend.

Anyways I hope you enjoyed this chapter!

-Cora Leigh