Every Part Of Us

11. Being sappy

I think I might have gone crazy. Having a psychotic break. I don't know but nothing logical could explain what I was doing right now.

I wasn't usually super spontaneous. I tended to think over all my decisions. I wasn't as rigid as my best friend Jake who had to plan everything weeks in advance like a psychopath. But I didn't get in my car and just drive off in a whim.

But here I was. I'd gotten in my car and sent out two texts, one to my dad letting him know I was going to be out and then the other to Jake sending him a short text letting him know where I would be. He'd texted me back right away but I ignored it. I knew he was having a proper freak out. I'd deal with him when I got back.

I was pushing all rational thought out of my head. None of it mattered because I'd lost it and found myself at Connor's doorstep.

I hadn't let myself freak out until now. Until I was actually standing in front of his door without any notice.

I went to raise my hand to knock but before I could the door swung open and Connor stood in front of me a wide smile on his face.

"Figured I'd put you out of your misery and just let you in." He joked.

I blinked at my friend. I hadn't told him I was coming, I expected a different reaction than the one I got.

"Why don't you look surprised to see me?" I asked.

"Jake called all worried you were mentally unwell, told me I needed to send him updates on your mental state the second you got here." Connor stepped out of the way ushering me in.

"Of course he did." I sighed.

My best friend was unable to be a normal human sometimes.

"Don't worry I'll text him and let him know you are all right in the head and just missed me too much."

"Then he'll know you're lying." I chuckled relaxing finally.

Even if my spur of the moment trip wasn't just to see Connor this visit was way past due. I had shit to make up for when it came to Connor. I hadn't put the effort in to make things right when I should have. I hadn't been at my best at his grad party and now one on one I felt like I could do better.

"If you don't want me to lie you could always just tell me why you're really here." 

Connor had come to me sober and apologized for everything. I'd taken that apology but I'd never given him one back. He deserved to hear that from me even if it was late.

"I should have told you this earlier but I'm sorry. I was an ass to you and there were times you didn't deserve it. I'm your friend and I should have been better at that." I told him.

"There's  nothing to apologize for Adam. You were an ass but you've been an ass since we first met. If you had to apologize every time you were an ass the only words I'd ever hear you speak would be I'm sorry."

I felt some relief at his words. I'd been trying to be better to put all the shit in my past. I didn't want to hold onto the anger I had towards Connor. He had been a real dick but he'd been drunk for all of it and he'd taken the time to make up for it all. I'd just held onto that for longer than I needed to.

In holding onto that anger I'd hurt my friend. I was a dick and now it wasn't just my forgiveness that was needed.

"If the only words I was ever saying was I'm sorry then I wouldn't have any time to be an ass."

"You'd just be really fucking annoying." Connor laughed. "But really we're good Adam, always have been. You didn't need to drive all this way but I'm glad you did."

"Stop being so sappy." I nudged him.

"Jet plane and I are in the middle of a Survivor binge, you should join." Connor gestured for me to follow him as he made his way further into the house.

I wasn't really looking to spend my day watching reality tv but survivor was better than some of the other shit Connor watched. I didn't even bother trying to fight it and just followed him. I was going to try with Connor and that meant spending the time to build things back to what it was. I'd spent a lot of time before our friendship fell apart watching dumb shows with him, I could survive it again.

Connor walked right into the living room where Jetson was curled up on the couch. The shorter boy looked back at me with a smile.

"Hey Adam." Jet greeted.

"Hey."

"Sit up." Connor nudged Jetsons shoulder making him move slightly.

I watched the couple as Connor maneuvered Jetson so that he could slide behind him and lay the other boy on top of him. They curled into each other like they were two pieces meant to fit together. Being best friends with Jake made it so I was so used to scenes like this I didn't even blink at the couple.

I just made myself comfortable at the opposite end of the couch and turned my attention to the screen.

"Are you planning on staying long? I can make Connor share some of his blankets and this couch is a pull out." Jetson offered.

"I hope it's comfortable I really hate having to drive in the dark."

"You don't get to be picky when you invited yourself over." Connor extended his leg kicking me lightly.

"You're the one always complaining about missing me all the time so don't start bitching now that I've given you what you wanted." I teased right back.

"I'm not sharing any of my blankets with you for that." Connor stuck his tongue out at me like a five year old.

"I lived with you for three years, there isn't enough money in the world for me to touch any of your blankets let alone sleep with one." I stuck my tongue right back at him.

"Shut up I'm trying to watch my show." Connor pouted.

I let out a laugh and relaxed into the couch. It was too long since I could talk to Connor like this. Since I could say whatever I wanted and not have to hold my breath for what he'd shoot back at me.

This was the first step. I was putting the effort in and I wasn't going to let myself regret this. I had wanted my friend back and while I'd held myself back over these last months it was time to give myself that push.

I was here and I was making the effort. That was enough to make the trip worth it even if I had to sleep on an uncomfortable pull out couch.

A/n:

This is days late but the holidays were very chaotic. Honestly things are still a little chaotic but I've been doing some writing and making some time for myself. I'm hoping for 2024 to be my year and to get things back on track mentally.

Anyways I hope you all have a good new years and in celebration of the new year I figured I'd share some exciting news. I've been working on another project, it's still in the planning stage but there will be a fourth book. It's going to be an opposite attracts romance and it's going to be sapphic. I just don't think I'm quite done yet and keep an eye out because I'll announce some more information about the book soon :)

I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I'll see you all Friday for another update!

-Cora Leigh