Every Part Of Us

20. Little monster

The date had been amazing. Any nerves that I had disappeared as Reid and I sat and played games while we sipped on our beers. I was relaxed and I found I really enjoyed spending time with him. I didn't think I'd smiled as much as I had today in a really long time.

After our drinks were finished and I had beaten Reid once in Yahtzee and three times in connect four, he lead me outside to the back of the brewery.

"This is why I like coming here." He gestured in front of us.

It was a nice area. Behind the brewery was a lawn with some tables and a path that lead down to a lake. The view was pretty and I could understand why Reid liked this place.

"You want to go for a walk?" I questioned.

I could see that the path went further down and I was guessing it took you around the lake. I wasn't ready to part ways just yet so I'd go on a walk if it meant spending more time with Reid.

"Yeah, this path takes you all around the lake but there is also some benches closer to the water if you just want to sit." He offered.

I just nodded and let him lead us both down closer to the water. I wanted to spend all day with him. I didn't think I would be able to part at the end of this. I didn't think I could part not knowing exactly when we'd get to see each other again.

When we finally reached the end of the short path leading down to a row of benches I found myself making my way towards them.

"Can we sit for a little while?" I asked.

"Yeah." Reid just smiled and joined me, his body almost pressed right against mine as we sat down.

I stared out at the water and I felt calm. My nerves were long gone and my whole body was relaxed even with the presence of the boy next to me. It surprised me every time that my usual anxiety seemed to melt away when it came to Reid.

I didn't get how I could be so comfortable with someone I'd just met. It didn't make any sense and even as I tried to twist my brain I couldn't figure out what it was about Reid that made him different.

I didn't know but at this moment I also didn't care. I just cared that he was different and he was right here wanting to spend his time with me.

"I was really nervous for today." I admitted. "I don't really do the whole date thing so I was stressing out that I was going to mess it all up."

"You don't do the whole date thing?" Reid questioned his eyebrows going up slightly in surprise.

"Not really." I just shook my head.

I didn't really know how to explain it. How to put it into words why I'd never done this whole thing before. For everyone else it always seemed so easy. I watched Jake make all this seem so easy. I didn't know exactly how it happened but I seemed to have been missing something in me.

"Is this your first date?" He asked.

I felt a rush of embarrassment. As of official dates, yeah this was my first one. I didn't have the interest to want to take anyone out on a date before. The closest thing I'd had to a relationship lasted about a week and well I'd felt nothing towards her. We hadn't gone out on dates, we met up a few times and kissed, she'd tried to take things further and so I broke it off before it could even really start.

I'd learned that I wasn't cut out for relationships. Then when everyone was having sex and that seemed to be the normal, I'd tried that too. I learned really quick that I wasn't cut out for that either.

So yeah I hadn't been on a date. Something in me was broken, no not broken, it was missing. I didn't think I ever had whatever it was that made people want these things for it to be broken. I was different and the older I got the more different I had felt.

"I guess technically." I shrugged.

"Well you're definitely not messing it all up." Reid just smiled.

There was some relief that went through me. Of course Reid wouldn't make me feel bad for the lack of experience I had. I felt it sometimes, this thing in me screaming at me for not having done any of this before. I'd never gone on a date before, I'd only kissed two people before I'd met Reid and I did everything I could to block out the time I'd lost my virginity.

I hated myself a little for not having done this before. I hated myself a little for not having wanted to do any of this before now.

"Well I'm glad being forced to listen to Jake's dating advice wasn't a total waste." I joked.

I had gone to my best friend when my nerves wouldn't settle. His advice wasn't always great but Jake knew me better than anyone and he always seemed to know exactly how to ease my anxiety when it got too bad.

"How did you and Jake meet?" Reid asked.

I couldn't help but smile as the memories resurfaced. Jake and I had met when we were both only six years old. He'd been my best friend from almost the moment we'd met. Well maybe not the exact moment.

"We were in the same first grade class. It must have been some type of recess but I was playing some game or something and Jake walked right over and took it out of my hands. Apparently I was playing with it wrong and he tried to show me how to do it the right way but all I knew was that he took what I was playing with so I shoved him to the ground. Jake hadn't even hesitated to push me right back. Our teacher had to break us up and she had tried to keep us apart but Jake didn't tend to listen to anyone and spent almost every day annoying the shit out of me. I got in trouble a lot in first grade because of him."

The fighting between us had been expected really. Jake was so different from me, even when he was a kid, he did everything a specific way and it had annoyed me then and it still annoyed me now. But the fighting had stopped after a few weeks and I'd realized Jake was just Jake and I found I hadn't actually minded having him around. After I stopped shoving him every time he tried to talk to me we had become best friends pretty fast.

"So you were a little bully." Reid laughed.

"I wasn't the bully, Jake snatched the toy out of my hand. I was just defending myself." I argued.

"You're right that was so brave of you, sticking up to that little monster." Reid just smiled.

I couldn't help myself but roll my eyes. I was having fun, I always seemed to have fun when I was with Reid. I wanted to spend time with him and sitting here with him made me feel like I never wanted this day to end.

I wanted to sit talking with him on this bench forever.

This time I didn't even wait for him to ask. I let myself just lean in. I leaned close to him until my lips brushed against his.

It took everything in me to not get lost in this feeling of being close to him. Of being connected to him in this way. I couldn't get enough and as his lips moved slowly against mine I had a feeling I wouldn't ever get enough of this boy.

I wanted to be right here next to him for as long as I could.

A/n;

My life is kinda a mess right now. My sleeping has gotten worse and so I've just been too tired to do much this past week. I've been really struggling with this book, my original outline and plan just didn't feel right. I really love these two and want to give them the story they deserve so I've started to rework some things in the outline and change it up so that it's actually something I'd be happy with sharing with you all.

I think with the rework I'll be more excited about working on the book and hopefully get you some more consistent uploads.

-Cora Leigh