𝐈 𝐃𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐘𝐨𝐮

Jonesy

"I'm sorry, you did what? Bela and Daria gave me blank stares as I donned my gear. We had a game against the Gulliver Cyclones tonight and while I was trying to get into my pre-game headspace, they would rather talk about me and Althea.

"I dared her to go out with Aiden Fairfield." I shrugged as if it was nothing when in reality, ever since that moment in the kitchen, the sinking feeling in my stomach wouldn't go away. It was as if it was telling me I had made a mistake.

"Why would you do that?" Bela asked at the same time Daria said, "Good, now you can focus on your team." It wasn't unusual for them to have differing opinions on certain things despite being close friends. They rarely agreed on anything; the moon would have to turn blue for that to happen.

I sighed for what seemed like the sixtieth time that night. I had already told them about the conversation between Althea and I two days ago, immediately after it happened; and yet they still insisted I repeat every detail. Multiple times. Why? I was asking myself that very question.

"What do you mean now she can focus on her team? She's the best one here, Dar." Bela gave Daria a pointed look who in return shuffled her feet nervously.

"Well, don't shoot me, I'm just the messenger." She raised her hands up in defensive surrender. "A couple of girls on the team think you're not giving us your all and that a certain rich figure skater might be the cause for your deviated attention."

  I pinched the bridge of my nose and took a deep breath. This cannot be happening right now. "I will admit that I've been out of it for a bit, but I promise Althea has nothing to do with it." Lie. Not even a white lie. "You both know I would never let my personal life affect my sports life."

My friends nodded in unison. "That's what I told them, but they..." Daria's voice trailed off into a whisper.

"They what?" Bela snapped, her knuckles turning white. Out of everyone in the friend group, Bela had always been the most protective of me; she had taken me under her wing when I first arrived at school three years ago. She saw me as her unbiological sister, and while we were all friends with Daria, everyone knew she could be out of line. Bela was always there to put her in her place.

"They think you should hand the captaincy over to someone else or just let Bela take over as team captain." Her face was flushed as her fingers fidgeted with her mouth guard. I let out a chuckle and kissed my teeth. Of course they would think that; God forbid I be anything less than perfect.

"Who the fuck said that?" Bela demanded, her body tense as if she was ready for war. I placed my hand on her shoulder to keep her from lunging at our friend and forcibly extracting the information from her.

"It's fine, Bela. I don't need to know who specifically. I'll just make an announcement before the game tonight; just something to reassure them of where my attention lies." I tried my best to keep my voice steady even though every fiber of my being wanted to punch something or someone. I was never one to enjoy verbal confrontation, or any confrontation in general. I had tried to be the peacemaker, but with my excessive anger issues, it was ironic and contradictory.

  One of the many reasons I loved hockey was the fact that I could take my anger and frustration out on the ice. If and when a fight broke out, it was always "It's just hockey, there's always going to be a fight."

"They think that since we lost the tally last year, you'll cause us to lose this year too." Daria continued. "I don't think that...but some of the girls do." She looked down at her hands, her mouth working to utter more words.

"Dar, stop talking." Bela cut her off before turning to me. "I don't blame you for last year's loss, and if the rest of the team knew the real reason we lost, they wouldn't either." Bela always had the ability to read my emotions before I ever verbalized them and she no doubt knew what was going on in my head.

  I sucked in a shaky breath, suddenly feeling nauseous. Images of last year came crashing into my mind like a tidal wave, almost knocking me off my feet. The car. The sirens. Her laughter ringing in my ear. Her arm hanging out of the window.