𝐈 𝐃𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐘𝐨𝐮

Althea

I dug my nails into my palm, the sharp pain waking me up. I stared at the picture perfect white house and a sense of dread overcame me. Jonesy was in that house. Her car was parked in front of mine.
  Jonesy was in that house!
  Anxiety grew in my stomach and I turned to Gemma. "What if this was a bad idea? What if she doesn't want to see me?"
  Gemma rolled her eyes for possibly the fiftieth time in the past hour. "Look, Thea; we didn't come all this way just for you to chicken out at the last minute. I definitely did not."
  She turned serious. "You have to talk to her, she's less than fifty feet away." She reached over and unclicked my seatbelt. "Now, go talk to your girl."
  I laughed and got out of the car. I heard the slam of the passenger side door close and saw Gemma's dark head pop up into view.
  "What? Did you really think I was going to sit here and freeze to death?" She gave me a sarcastic look. "Who knows how long you lesbians are going to take? Is it true that your sex lasts hours?" She quickly fell into step beside me as we crossed the snowy street. "I need that."
  "Gemma!" I laughed and she shrugged nonchalantly.
  "I'm just saying it must be nice."
  I shook my head and took a deep breath before knocking on the door. Gemma gave me a reassuring look, which in fact did not reassure me in the slightest.
  I heard a dog bark on the other side of the door and Jonesy's voice telling him to shut up. My stomach was trying to tie itself into knots and I grabbed Gemma's hand for support.
  "Baxter! Shut up! I-Althea."
  I almost crumpled at the sound of her voice. I had missed hearing my name on her lips. I had missed her voice, her scent, her presence.
  "Hi, Jonesy," I breathed out, searching her eyes. "Gemma said you were missing and I got worried, even if it isn't my place anymore."
  "Hi," Gemma squeaked from behind me but Jonesy acted as if she hadn't said anything at all. Her eyes never left mine.
  "How did you know I was here?" She finally asked after what felt like an eternity.
  "Your brother told Gemma that you might be in Fairmont, so we took a chance."
  "This is my mom's house; how did you know she lived here?"
  I laughed slightly, thinking about Delores and her gas station. "We had a funny run in with the clerk at a gas station, she mentioned you and then Gemma called Ellis and although he was surprised to think that you would be here, he was more than happy to give us the address."
  A hint of a smile flashed across her face and my hopes skyrocketed.
  "We just wanted to make sure you were okay-"
  "No," Gemma interrupted. "We came all this way, in the freezing snow might I add, so you guys could talk, kiss, fuck, whatever you need to do to get back together. Look, I'm freezing out here and you two obviously need to have a conversation; so can you please let us in?"
  I let out a sigh of relief and a laugh, thankful for her outburst. Jonesy's shoulders relaxed and she held the door open wide, the faint scent of cookies welcoming us in.
  "Of course, come in."
  Gemma pushed her way past me into the house, anxious to be in the warmth. She quickly made herself at home, hanging her coat on the rack and started baby talking to the large dog who was more than thankful for the attention.
  I slid off my coat, hanging it up next to Gemma's before taking a look around the house. It was nothing like the one Jonesy had described to me from her childhood. This one looked as if it belonged on a postcard.
  I inhaled, my nose filling up with hints of vanilla and chocolate. "Are you making chocolate chip cookies?" I asked as Jonesy led us into the kitchen.
  A short dark haired woman was pulling a tray from the oven, her face lighting up as she saw us. That must be Mallory, Jonesy's mom. They had the same smile.
  "Yeah, Mom was telling me I needed to find healthier ways to let out my frustration and I remembered you always making batches of cookies when you were upset. I thought I would give it a try." The tips of her ears turned bright red and a blush crept across her face.
  My whole body warmed and I couldn't contain my smile. "Did it help?"
  She returned my smile. "You're onto something here, Beckett."
  My smile wavered as my heart sank at the mention of my last name, but I forced it back in place. At least she was her usual joking self again.
  Mallory sat at the large bar-like counter, her chin resting on the back of her hand. She didn't say anything, didn't ask for an introduction, simply watched us. Jonesy must've told her what had happened.
  "Mom, this is my friend, Gemma." Jonesy nodded towards our friend who was busy trying to sneak a cookie off a nearby plate. She looked up, her face red, and I noticed she already had one stuffed in her mouth.
  "Hi, these are so good by the way."
  Mallory laughed and handed her another one. "Well, I'm glad you like them; Jones did all of the work."
  "Maybe you should quit hockey and become a baker full time, Jonesy."
  Jonesy shook her head and moved to a corner of the kitchen. Before, I would have followed her and nestled myself into her arms, but now all I could do was stand there awkwardly.
  "Mom, this is Althea Beckett. The-uh..." she ran a hand through her dark hair, trying to find an easy way to go about this. But there really wasn't an easy way.
  "The ex girlfriend." I finished for her and noticed her jaw tightening as I did. It was the truth, might as well rip the band-aid off. And God, did that band-aid hurt.
  "Ahh," Mallory gave me a slight smile before pushing herself away from the counter and turning to Gemma. "I think you want to see baby pictures of Baxter."
  Gemma looked up from her cookie. "I do? Ooh, right." She shot a knowing wink and smile. "You're right, I do." The pair left the kitchen and it felt as if they took the warmth with them. A shiver ran down my spine and I tugged at the sleeves of my shirt, digging my nails into my palms again.
  "Stop doing that," Jonesy said quietly and a few seconds later her fingers were loosening mine. Her light touch was familiar yet after not having it for a few days, it felt brand new. I couldn't contain the gasp that left my lips when our fingers intertwined out of habit.
  My whole body itched to pull her close to me; to wrap myself in her and this time to never let go. We stood there, in the kitchen, our fingers holding onto each other and neither one of us said anything.
  I lifted my head to meet her eyes and found them already on me. Her brows were pulled together tightly and her gaze kept falling to my lips.
  Did she want to kiss me as badly as I wanted to kiss her?
  After another minute, Jonesy took a step back, releasing my hand. She ran hers through her hair and for a second I imagined running my fingers through it, like I had done so many times before. But it wasn't my place.
  "I wanted to call you...I meant to." Jonesy said, going back to her corner. She folded her arms and stared down at the floor.
  She was going to call? She had wanted to talk to me after all? Even then? After everything I had done and didn't do?
  "Why didn't you?" My voice was just above a whisper. I hated the needy and desperate tone it held; but if she had wanted to call, why hadn't she?
  "I didn't think you would answer." She sounded ashamed and my heart broke again.
  "Oh, Jonesy; I would've answered. I will always answer your call, even if you didn't want to talk and we simply sat in silence, just because I knew it was you on the other line."
  A burst of confidence shot through me and I continued. "That's what I was trying to tell you on Friday. It will always be you, and-and I know I lied to you about coming out to my parents, and for that I am sorry. I am so sorry.
  "You were right, I was so scared of my parents and as much as we didn't get along, I lived off their words of affirmation. I wanted nothing more than to please them, to make them proud. To keep happy because that was my purpose, right?"
  I glanced down at my hands, folding the hem of my shirt into itself. "I was meant to be this perfect person, the perfect older sister, the perfect daughter, the perfect student. I was supposed to be perfect my whole life so that I could be the perfect wife to the perfect man."
  Jonesy swallowed and bit the inside of her lip. She folded her arms tighter as I blustered on, not wanting this newfound confidence to wear off.
  "But I don't want that; I don't want that kind of life, I want to be free. Free to make mistakes, free to even think about making mistakes! Free to love who I want, and I want you.
  "Jonesy, I want you." I was breathless and my ears were drumming. I tugged on the sleeves of my shirt again and dropped my gaze to the floor. I couldn't believe I had just said all of that. I still had so much more to say, she needed to know the full extent of my feelings for her.
  "I told my parents, and as scary as that was, it was not as scary as losing you. The past few days we've been apart have been some of the worst of my life and-and I don't want to be apart from you. I told you once before but I will say it as many times as I need to: I want to be there for every bruised knuckle and split lip.
  "I want to be your biggest fan and loudest supporter at your games. I want the first reason you smile in the mornings to be from seeing me. I don't want to forget what you look like when you first wake up, when you're all flushed cheeks and pillow lines."
  I shifted my weight from one foot to the other and blinked several times. "I love you, Jonesy." My words came out in a whisper and I wouldn't have been surprised if she hadn't heard it, but she did.
  I hadn't even realized I had been crying until I felt her soft hands wipe the tears away. Jonesy cupped my face in her hands, the corners of her eyes sparkling.
  "Please forgive me." I placed my hands over her wrists as her thumbs ran across my cheeks.
  "Oh, sweet girl, I forgave you the moment I left that parking lot."
  The smile on my face was so wide it hurt my cheeks. Friday! She had forgiven me Friday. She hadn't spent the entire weekend harboring hatred towards me. She didn't hate-
  Jonesy's lips completely silenced any and all thoughts left in my mind. My heart felt as if it might burst out of my chest. She smelled and tasted of cookie dough as our mouths moved in synchronized harmony, a dance they had done many times.
  This kiss felt new and exciting yet homey and familiar all at the same time. A soft moan escaped my lips and I felt my back being pressed against the counter. Jonesy placed a hand on the surface, stabilizing herself while her other still held my face.
  I had thought of this moment so many times since Friday. That moment where I was finally able to kiss the girl I loved and to know that she knew I loved her. To kiss the girl who loved me and know that she loved me.
  I gasped as her fingers gently caressed the bare skin that peeked out from under my shirt. Her touch was cool despite the heat in the kitchen, awakening my senses.
  My back arched and I wrapped my arm around her neck as her mouth moved to my throat, planting slightly painful, desperate kisses to the soft skin. Her teeth nipped and pulled at my neck, no doubt leaving a mark.
  I clawed at the counter, my attempts feeble as my fingertips slid off the granite stone. Jonesy's fingers continued tugging and pulling on my skin, trying to minimize the space between us.
  I felt my nipples harden and pressed them up against hers. A low growl of pleasure rippled through Jonesy as she hungrily grabbed at my breast, squeezing the nipple between her fingers.
  I let out a sharp gasp and felt my head loll backwards as she kissed the small space where my neck met my jaw and I pulled her face back to mine. I didn't care that Gemma and Mallory were only down the hall; I dug my nails into her neck and felt the tight pressure of her fingers still trying to pull me closer.
  Somewhere in the distance I heard the sound of the front door opening and Baxter's bark. I thought briefly about what might happen if we were caught and honestly couldn't come up with a good enough reason to stop. I heard the sound of voices coming closer before they faded out again.
  Jonesy was still touching, still kissing me. I didn't care about anything else. Only her.
  "Hey guys, guess who's-" Gemma gasped, taking in the scene before her. "Here."
  Jonesy was in no hurry to let me go; she raised her head slightly to look over mine at Gemma. "Who?" Her voice was quiet and nonchalant, like she didn't care that she still had me pinned between her and the counter. I felt embarrassment creep in and my face grew warm.
  Gemma smiled widely. "Well, I didn't know how this would go, so I called in some reinforcements." She stepped aside and Bela came tumbling in from behind her.
  "Gem!" She laughed as she fell from where she must've been leaning against the doorframe. I heard the familiar snicker of Daria. Had she called the whole gang?
  Once Jonesy realized more people were piling into the room, she took a step back but kept my hand in hers. I beamed and blushed again as Gemma winked at me.
  The whole gang had indeed shown up; Sterling and Stella quick behind Daria. They engulfed us in a hug, even Baxter tried to wiggle his way in.
  "Don't ever go ghost on us again, Claypoole," Bela said as she clapped Jonesy on the back.
  Jonesy looked at me, her smile wide. "I won't ever have a reason to."