𝐈 𝐃𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐘𝐨𝐮

Althea

  I knew Jonesy had her reasons for not wanting to join me in the shower, and no matter how valid they were, I still wished she had.
  After taking my time soaking in the hot water and scrubbing off the smell of the airport and all memories of Matteo from my body, I slipped into a comfy pair of sweats and a camisole. No matter how hard I tried to simply get over the fact that my mother was having him spy on me, again, it still made me angry every time I thought about it.
  I knew that was at least one of the reasons Jonesy hadn't joined me in the shower. She still wanted to talk about what actually happened. The one time I didn't want to talk. Ironic to say the least.
  My mother and I had always had a strenuous relationship; I was too much like my father and while she and him put on a good front for the public, behind closed doors it was a completely different relationship. I loved my parents, I really did, but on more than a few occasions they had squashed my dreams to further their own.
  I wouldn't say they were religious per se, we went to church on major holidays and whenever my father needed to create good rapport with the townspeople of whatever city he was visiting during election season.
  Being the daughter of a politician and a New York Times best selling author definitely had its perks but the scrutiny was suffocating. I had to look perfect. I had to be perfect. As did my sister, Lavinia, but it was different for her. She was the youngest so she could get away with just about anything she wanted because all eyes would be elsewhere. On me.
  The eldest daughter of Dwayne and Marsai Beckett had to be perfect because I was a reflection of them. I knew they would see me being in a relationship with another girl as imperfect, a shame on their name and what they stood for.
  All I wanted was to be happy and Jonesy made me so fucking happy. After years of hiding my attraction to girls because I was afraid of what my parents would say or think, I finally found the girl I wouldn't mind risking or losing that for.
  I just couldn't tell them yet. I wanted to bathe in my happiness and have a few untainted or soiled memories with her. But now I would be constantly looking over my shoulder, praying someone didn't tell them before I did.
  I knew deep down that Matteo would keep his word, he wouldn't rat me out; but if my mother paid him to spy on me, who else had she paid? Who was the informant that had told her in the first place? Was it someone I had brought on this trip?
  I tried to think of who was most likely to tell my mother about me and Jonesy. I couldn't see either of the Baek sisters doing such a thing; Gemma had been rooting for us since the start and Bela was happy as long as her best friend was happy. I didn't know Sterling or Stella well enough to assume they had something against me but they had always been relatively kind to me.
  There was Daria who had made it clear that she didn't think I was worth Jonesy's time from the moment I had met her. Was it possible she had said something? I completely ruled out the Booker twins and Justice, they were rather oblivious to everything that didn't concern themselves.
  I could already hear my mother in my mind. "We didn't work this hard for everything we have just so you could throw it all away because you think you have feelings for a girl." I knew she would never be able to believe my attraction to women was actually real; I had grown up hearing her say that homosexuals were simply confused and looking for ways to rebel against their parents.
  In her words "homosexuals are crying for help in the most attention seeking way possible."
  I didn't want to have to see the look of disappointment in my parents eyes when they found out I had deviated from their plan for my life. I wanted to be happy for a few more days. I promised Matteo that I would tell them before they came to my Nutcracker performance, that gave me a bit of time to come up with the right way to tell them, and brace myself for their reactions.
  By the time I had gotten out of the shower and made my way down the stairs, Justice and Lucas had turned the living room into an escape room. I tried my best not to overreact; I liked things orderly and the two boys were the complete opposite of that. Jonesy had quickly turned on team captain mode and ordered them to return the room back to the way it was and that calmed my anxiety.
  Gemma and I decided that food was the best thing for the group and we started on a late lunch. I had grown to really enjoy her company, she was wittier than I had first assumed. And nosier.
  "So, I heard that you and Jonesy haven't...you know." Her eyes sparkled mischievously as she poured shaved parmesan cheese into the salad,
  I looked up from the pan of garlic bread I was about to place in the oven. "Jonesy and I haven't what?" I asked skeptically. I was now extremely curious to know what was being said about me and my relationship.
  "You two haven't-" she dropped her voice to a whisper. "Had sex yet."
  I completely stopped moving, almost choking on my own tongue. "What?"
  She gave me a look of doe eyed innocence. "I mean, have you?"
  I shoved the tray into the oven and pressed the timer, suddenly very annoyed. "No, and it's not like that's anyone's business."
  "That's what Jonesy said!" When I gave her a look of confusion, Gemma explained. "Well, Bela and Daria had a bet going for how long it would take you guys to have sex while on the trip and Bela won because she knew that you guys hadn't done it yet. When we-Stella, Daria, and myself-found out, she told was that she didn't want to fuck this up with you. She really, really likes you. I'm glad you guys worked everything out."
  Gemma finished her rambling speech and went back to mixing her salad, completely unaware of the words she had just said or their affect on me.
  "I really, really like her too." I felt my cheeks burn as I replied. "I asked her to be my girlfriend."
  Gemma turned to me, a look of shock on her face. "Oh? I always thought Jonesy would be the one to pop the question."
  I chuckled under my breath. "Yeah, it was a shock to her as well."
  "But she took it well?"
  "We're still here, aren't we?"
  She smiled at me. "That would have been really awkward if she had said no."
  I nodded and felt my ears burn. Pulling the tray of bread from the oven, I turned to see Jonesy enter the kitchen. Her eyes sparkling and she licked her lips at the smell of food.
   Looking at her, I couldn't believe I had done it. I had made the hottest girl I had ever come in contact with my girlfriend. Butterflies came alive in my belly just from looking at her. Her hands were cool against my skin, sending shivers down my spine. They were happy shivers, the kind of shivers that made me want to burrow myself into her and never let her go.
  I didn't want to. I wasn't going to. Standing in front of her, my arms wrapped around her, her chin resting on my head, her hands under my shirt. I wasn't going to give this up.
  My mother was not going to take this away from me. She was not going to take her away from me. I wouldn't allow it.